I paid my dues! I deserve to play!

Whenever our group gathers someone will invariably let go with "I paid my dues!" drawing a round of chuckles from those present.  The members of this group played on the same team years ago. We were a better than average team, but not an exceptional one. As can often be the case, the friendships established through competing together against others has lasted through the years. There are many good memories that bind us together. Great plays, championships won and lost. Fellowship before and after games. "I paid my dues!" is the single memory that most resonates with this group.

The team gathered throughout the preseason to work on technique, tactics, conditioning and developing an identity of who we would collectively be on the field of play.  We struggled through difficult practices, various bumps bruises and injuries, learning to play together against other teams. Well, most of the team did.  There was this one guy who signed up and paid to play, but was largely absent from preseason activities.

On opening night the team was jazzed with nervous energy. We were excited to get the season underway. We were pumped!  Ready to go into athletic battle with our buddies and see how we measured up against another team. I mean OPENING NIGHT, right!?

We came out strong and the game was going our way. Everything was clicking and we went up big early. Comfortably in control at the break our coaches were reminding us to stick with the game plan in the second half. We were to treat the second half as if the score were 0-0. Be disciplined and play as we practiced, as we had prepared to play and as we played in the first half.  That's when Donny stood up and proclaimed "I paid my dues! I deserve to play too!"

Well, Donny was the guy who skipped practices and other team functions. He missed out on so much preparation to play that I didn't even think of him as a teammate. He was more ... well, in the context of the team ... he just was.

As we prepared to play the second half the coach asked Donny to remain behind.  They had a short talk before joining us on the field.  About the only thing I remember is Donny looking very angry as we took the field.  After we won the game and were coming off the field congratulating one another I do not recall if Donny was present or not.  I never saw Donny in the context of the team again. What had been a friendly off-the-field relationship took on a decided chill.

Our coach eventually shared with us what was communicated to Donny at halftime of that first game. The message was an eye opener to me and I think to each of my teammates. After a fast start to the season we had hit a lull. No, not a lull, we were in a prolonged losing streak. This is when Ross, our coach, shared with us the gist of the message he had delivered to Donny.

Donny had paid his money for the right to be a part of our club, our team. This is what Donny meant when he had proclaimed "I paid my dues! I deserve to play!"  Coach Ross had a bit different idea about what it meant to pay one's dues.  He told Donny he would not give him anything that was not earned, including playing time. To give playing time to anyone who had not earned it through properly preparing to play would be lowering the club and team standards. When Donny had begun to explain he had to work, suffered an injury and had had other commitments, Coach Ross shut him down with a simple "No excuses."  Coach went on to point out that even being present at practices was not good enough. There would be no reward for merely participating. Everyone was expected to give a full effort every day.  Healthy and active or injured and inactive physically - it did not matter. You need to be attentive and contribute. There was no room on a successful team for laziness or mediocrity in effort given to the team. He ended by telling Donny that he had been disrespectful to him as the coach, his teammates and perhaps most importantly to the opportunity paying his monetary dues had afforded him.  Furthermore, by disrupting halftime of a team event with such a display of selfishness he had announced how unappreciative and ungrateful he actually was as it concerned representing the club and the team.

So, while the lasting impression we have of Donny is "I paid my dues!"  the lasting lesson Donny contributed to is monetary dues hold little to no value in team sports.  The actual dues that matter most in team situations are being present and contributing positively in whatever manner one can. Those were the expectations for our team. Those were standards we set and upheld.  No excuses. Just give the best, most intelligent, effort to the team each and every day.  Being present is not enough - ask "what can I do for my team" and do it.  Even when injured - conduct stretching, practice the team's communication, do rehab work in an effort to return to play or be a cheerleader offering encouragement to your teammates. Be active in the team process. Never take for granted the opportunity to be a part of the team.  Pay your (non-monetary) dues!

It's part of coaching

We often speak of athletes learning life lessons through their participation in team sports.  Coaches learn life lessons through heir participation in team sports as well.  One of the most important lessons sports has taught me is the necessity to develop, establish and maintain healthy working relationships.
I put a lot of time and effort into developing working relationships with everyone remotely connected to the program.  My athletic director and his administrative assistant. The boosters organization. Surely our players and coaches. The parents as well.

Now, with parents I tend to keep them at arms length as it concerns team selection, positions, playing time and the like. On the other hand, I desire and need parental support for a healthy program. I rely on parents for everything from fundraising to furnishing team meals.

Players get suspended or cut from the team and coaches lose their jobs often due to poor relationships and ineffective communication.  Communication is a shared responsibility.  That is, it takes a minimum of two to hold a conversation unless one is talking to one's self. LOL. This is another lesson I have learned - if people choose not to respond to your efforts to include them in your program, repeating those efforts ad nauseum is simply a waste of time.

I have a three strike rule.  If I ask you three times for your input or help and you choose not to respond, I move on.  This happens mostly with parents of student athletes in my current position. A sad commentary on our society in general.  Please do not misunderstand, I do indeed enjoy tremendous support from many parents. The vast majority jump in and help in whatever way is needed and I am genuinely appreciative for their involvement. It is a small minority that decide not to respond, not to work on establishing, developing and maintaining a working relationship in teh best interests of their child.

Being a responsible decision maker is also something sports teach us. Not every decision we make is cut and dried. I often seek input from every source imaginable when faced with a tough decision. I also give difficult decisions a lot of  prayerful consideration.  In the end, as a head coach it's still my decision. I live with both the rewards and consequences of those decisions. I firmly believe it important everyone involved with the program knows I take making these decisions very seriously and own up to them regardless of how they turn out. It's a matter of trust and respect.

Trust is the glue of life, the single most essential ingredient in effective communication.  If I do not own my decisions, why should anyone trust me?  Trust is the foundational principle that holds all relationships together.  Disagreements are a part of life, its how we handle disagreements that matter more than the disagreement itself.  Adversity is a part of life and athletics. It is a given, individuals and the team will encounter adversity at times. The adversity is not as important as how the adversity is handled. Being able to trust those you face adversity with is critical to success in overcoming the obstacle. Successfully overcoming adversity or an obstacle with others is how respect is earned ... and given.  Without respectful working relationships not only is trust absent but the prospects of success are greatly diminished.

We ARE all in this together, correct?

How to Increase Your Value to Your Team.

A very self-aware player recently asked of me, what do I need to do in order to increase my value to the team? This question came about in the context of what the athlete could do during the off season to improve for next fall. Now, I am not the athlete's coach so I cannot speak directly to what areas his coach feels should be the focus of off season work. However, I can address the general concept of increasing one's value to the team.

First and foremost is the players approach to the team, his attitude. As positivity and negativity are both contagious a player with a positive attitude is something all coaches prize.  The conscious recognition that one's attitude is a choice is a starting point. One can decide to have a positive attitude, or not as the case may be. So how we approach the decision making progress in regards to attitude is very important.

Sometimes we have athletes who are very good at talking the talk but struggle when it comes to walking the walk. That is, their words and actions are not always in one accord. So, we might ask if the player is mature enough to take things seriously. Can they adhere to the details of the process even when they would rather not do so?

Another way to phrase this is to ask. what are you personally willing to sacrifice towards the success of the team? Is there present in the student / athlete a recognition that sacrificing for the betterment of the team also promotes an athletes personal agenda? The trendy phrase today is When We Replaces Me. Is the athlete willing to place We before Me?

Respecting authority is another prime example of attitude.  If the athlete disrespects authority this is a manifestation of bad attitude. And when talking about authority the list includes parents, teachers, referees, coaches, captains and those placed in charge of organizing and directing play on the field - goalkeepers for instance. Differing opinions can be a strength to a team, but only when they are expressed at the appropriate time and in a respectful manner. Arguing with referees, coaches, captains, teammates during a match or even during active training is not appropriate.

Much of what has been discussed to this point  might be classified as a players maturity level.  Is the student / athlete mature enough to handle constructive criticism in the spirit it is offered or does the student athlete take such efforts personally as a condemnation of his play?  Can the player give constructive criticism to teammates in the spirit and tone of helping as opposed to placing blame or condemning their play?

How does the athlete deal with adversity? Is there self-discipline and mental toughness present that manifests itself in determination and resiliency to overcome?  These are traits prized by coaches and teammates alike.  They go to the issue of trust.  Is the player worthy of being trusted? Is he honest in his dealings with others - his teammates, his coaches, the referees ... himself?

Attitude is so very important, but has been so overused in the context of team sports it has lost some of its effectiveness in identifying what it is to be a good teammate.  And being a good teammate is at the core of increasing one's value to his team. At the root of being a good teammate is the ability to build productive relationships with all other members of the team.

When an athlete is a good teammate bringing positive energy and enthusiasm to the team and its pursuit of common goals, good things will follow.  Sure, working on technical skill sets and tactical understanding are important and improving in these areas will enhance a players value to his team, but we must not forget the difference attitude makes - be it good attitude or bad attitude.  Be of service to your team and its members and good things will follow.

Attitude. Work Ethic. Productivity

I've been pondering what makes one team more efficient and effective than another team. By no means is this a scientific undertaking, It is very much my musings on observations I have made about teams I have been a part of in one capacity or another.

Mission. Goals. Standards.

Teams with a clearly defined mission tend to be successful. The mission statement defines who we are and what we are about. Separate from a mission statement are a team's goals. These can and should range from short term goals to long range goals. The goals can be viewed as stepping stones toward fulfilling the mission. Standards are how we are going to go about achieving our goals. What behaviors are acceptable and which are unacceptable.

Communication and Respect.

Among the standards successful teams share are effective communication and respect.  All opinions are welcomed and valued. Beginning in the 1980's a cottage industry came to the fore that focuses on team bonding activities. Both the corporate world and the sports world has taken advantage of such activities to promote effective communication, conflict resolution, the organizational structure and decision making process. The underlying premise is every team member is acknowledged and valued for the contributions they make towards the team's goals and fulfilling the team's mission,

Cooperation and Teamwork

Together Everyone Achieves More. Effective teams have a spirit of cooperation and collaboration. All voices are heard in the decision making process. Team members who trust the decision-making process tend to cooperate even the when a decision is not entirely to their liking. When teamwork extends beyond the field and into every facet of the team buy-in to team philosophy, mission and goals comes much easier.

Appearance and Character

A former coach of mine was fond of saying, "If you want to be a champion, you need to look the part." At first I thought this meant we had to tuck in our shirts and pull up our socks.  I came to realize the dress code was only a very small part of it. How our team was perceived and how the team perceived itself was the lesson being imparted to us. Team rules and standards of conduct.  Conduct detrimental to the team mission, goals and standards cannot be tolerated. In short, the personal decision making process begins with, if your behavior or conduct would reflect negatively on the team, don't do it.

Attendance

My high school coaching mentor addressed attendance in one brief sentence, Attendance is mandatory and will be punctual. One unexcused absence or tardiness resulted in suspension. A repeat offence resulted in dismissal from the team. This might sound strict, but Coach understood that disruptions to the team caused by unexcused absences and tardiness reduced productivity. Unexcused absences affect and impact the entire team in a negative sense. Being recognized as a dependable teammate is a prerequisite to earning trust. Dealing consistently with misconduct in a manner positive to the team's mission, goals and standards directly impacts trust, respect and productivity.

Organization

In many ways it is how a team structure is organized that determines its Attitude, Work Ethic and Productivity. If the organization is sub par, then productivity will likely be less efficient than it should be. Ownership is a shared responsibility.  If the team is set up as a dictatorship with the coach in the lead role it will be difficult for team members to fully buy-in to his process because they will not view it as their process.  It's difficult to fully enjoy an experience when it's not yours to enjoy. Ownership or lack thereof also impacts ones motivation.  If you feel ownership of the team, you are much more likely to be self-motivated as team performance will reflect directly on you as a member of that team.

To end I will tell the story of Alex.  I was coaching a club team comprised of the very best players in the area. I hand selected this team not only on talent, but on attitude, character and maturity.  Still, early on the team was not performing at peak level. Then we faced a disciplinary issue involving a member of the team. We discussed the situation with the team captains. When an agreement was reached as to what the discipline would be our lead captain, Alex, took charge.  The captains, led by Alex, met with the individual. They described the conduct detrimental to the team and informed the offender of his discipline.  I thought we might lose the player, but we did not. He was not happy, but it came to be a turning point for both the player and the team as a whole. The team rose to new heights and went on to a tremendously successful season. The player who had committed the violation of team conduct became a very productive team member who contributed significantly to our success.

The team captains took responsibility and addressed the situation and individual on their own, but with full support of the coaching staff.  I spoke with the individual in question after the captains had addressed him, but this was only necessary so that he understood I supported the captains decision. I had their backs on this.

If we had not upheld the teams mission and standards at that point in time our season might well have been lost. Thankfully we had an organizational structure in place that allowed us to address the issue with positivity and within the framework of expectations and the standards of how we wanted our team to be viewed and remembered.

Let's discuss TRUST

On May 10, 2017 I sustained an injury at work.  The attending physician put me off work pending an MRI to discover the full extent of the injury.  I've been waiting for the Workers Compensation process to play itself out ever since.  The down time has provided ample opportunity to think about and analyze various aspects of my life. I have rediscovered a recurring theme -TRUST.

My twitter profile (Timotheus @TJBrown6083) includes the following:  Trust is the glue of life, the most essential ingredient in effective communication. Trust is the foundational principle that holds all relationships together.

I believe this to be true.

The job I had was working as a 1 on 1 aide with a 6 1/2 year old boy with severe developmental and behavioral issues.  The behavioral issues being so bad they usually precluded any attempt to work with him on developmental issues. I only shared 4 days with the young lad before the injury prevented me from working but in that time (and since) the lasting impression I had was one of TRUST.  That is, the student could not be trusted. More importantly, the student did not trust anybody.

We shall call the student, "Addison".

When I arrived for my first day of working with Addison I felt isolated from everything going on around me. In a classroom of developmentally and behaviorally challenged students I was not provided a list of classroom rules and was given only the merest of expectations.  I found the space Addison and I would work from to be isolated from all other students, the classroom teacher and other aide. Addison did not even have a proper desk as the other students did. I was most curious about this isolation and determined to be open minded about what I was observing.  Another way to state this would be to say I wasn't sure who or what to trust.

My welcome into the classroom by the other adults was cold.  Not even an introduction to provide me the names of the adults I would be working with. It was basically, "this is your space. Here's a binder and a few books Addison can work on" and that was it. Well, okay then. I was going to have to learn on the fly which means I would be making a lot of mistakes.  I'm good with that. Mistakes are a great way to learn.  I have written articles posted on this blog about the value of making and learning from mistakes. Mistakes do not intimidate me. I embrace mistakes. I learn from mistakes.  I move on from mistakes.

The challenge working with "Addison" presented was gaining his trust. This is not unlike working with a new soccer team. Establishing trust is the first step. Building a working relationship based on trust is the next step.  Honesty is paramount to developing trust. We have to be able to trust the communication we have with others. That's where relationship building begins ... and can end.

To be perfectly honest, the relationship I had with the school system in terms of non-coaching employment was in distress.  I had tried to obtain a full-time position, any position, for several months. Bus driver, cook, custodian, grounds, paraprofessional, substitute work, any number of administrative jobs to no avail. Communication from the school system was inconsistent at best and at its worst was downright deceitful.  It wasn't until 6-7 months into the process that I began to figure out how to play their game. Then, I was "hired" on three different occasions without the school actually following through and awarding me a position. Internal politics and union contracts seemed to play a strong role. Regardless, a lack of effective communication from the school to me regarding these situations was eroding my trust in them.

I relate this not as sour grapes. It was what it was, but what it was was not good.  I had the distinct impression I was awarded the one on one position with Addison with great reluctance on the part of the supervisor.  They had no one else to work with him. I was the last gasp to get them through the school year.  I feel I was treated accordingly. All this went into building a relationship with Addison.

Addison was isolated in the classroom. Physically he sat apart from everyone else.  Addison was also isolated developmentally as he was a minimum of 2-3 years behind his classmates. Addison was isolated at lunch as we were forced to sit by ourselves at a table away from everyone else. Addison and I even rode the bus to and from school by ourselves. This child was alone. In that, we were alone together.

Addison and I built a rapport fairly quickly.  He tested me to see what limits I would set. We got in trouble together when my limits did not mesh with the established classroom limits. How was I to know what those limits were without communication from the teacher or other aide?  These became bonding moments for Addison and I. We got in trouble together. We took the consequences and moved on, together.  How I responded to adversity became important to Addison and he usually followed my lead.

At the end of that first (and only) week (due to injury) with Addision I was informed it was the best week he had had all school year. This was attributed to my being a man.  A backhanded compliment, I suppose. I was also dressed down for not following classroom rules and not being a team player.  I took the criticism even while thinking of how difficult it was to be a team player without knowing the team members, their goals, their mission, their system of play and most specifically what my exact role was supposed to be. Lack of effective communication had scuttled my ability to be a team player.

So, last fall was my first year as head coach at the school. We achieved the best record in many a year and people took notice.  I was not satisfied due to believing we had left as many as 4 wins on the field. Instead of 10-4-3 I felt we could have been 14-4-0.  Why the discrepancy?  TRUST.  Much of the year was a battle of wills from a lack of full buy-in of the system to the changes in culture we were instituting.  Despite my best efforts to define and communicate expectations, roles and responsibilities there was reticence present especially amongst a certain group who wanted to do things their way instead of the team way. On some level, they did not trust the process.

I knew this coming fall would see more of the same unless I cut the cancers from the program. If I cut the cancers from the program the team's record might suffer. So why even consider cutting three of the better skilled players from the team?  Because effective communication demands give and take.  When players refuse to respond to communication from the coach, it isn't so much about disrespect towards the coach as it is disrespect towards the team. No way are we all going to like one another, but we should be able to respect one another. That's what being a team member is all about - the ability to work cooperatively together towards a common goal.  I knew it would take another season (and maybe three more) of turmoil before the program fully turned the corner unless certain student athletes matured and put conscious effort into building trusting relationships with teammates and coaches.

As I have reflected on life while laid up these past several weeks TRUST has been a recurring theme. Just this morning I received a call / message from my father-in-law who wanted to know if he could mow our yard since I am unable to do so due to my injured knee.  On the surface, this is a nice gesture and I suppose I should accept it as such and leave it at that except past history raises red flags. I have never enjoyed a good relationship with my in-laws. I have never felt I was welcomed into their family. More like I have been tolerated to some small degree.  There is a long history of me asking the in-laws for help doing something or other with always a negative response if they respond at all.  If we, my wife and family, seek assistance from my in-laws and expect them to actually help, my wife must be the one to initiate that conversation. If I initiate it, all I will have accomplished is wasting my breath.

Lack of effective communication.

Lack of TRUST.

I have no idea why my in-laws are non-responsive to me. They don't like me? I'm not good enough for their daughter?  There has never been direct communication from them to me regarding this.  I hear things through the small town grapevine and even through family channels now and again but never has there been direct, effective communication and so there is no trust.

An unsolicited offer of help from my in-laws? Did my wife put him up to this? I immediately begin to wonder what their agenda is?  I suspect it might have to do with an offer to pay for an MRI on my knee?  I only say this because my wife made mention of such. I'm not sure if she approached them or if they approached her with the idea. I just know I was not in the communication loop until after details were worked out.  I'm not inclined to be beholding to the in-laws given the past 35 +/- years of dealing with them.

In reflections on situations as the ones related here my mind often returns to sports. This has been the case over these past several weeks. In a general sense, teams underachieve, play to potential or overachieve.  The underlying reason for a teams performance can be traced back to TRUST and the relative level of effectiveness in communication that has been established, nurtured and grown.

The very best teams I have been around in sports and life have had excellent communication and abundant trust.  The most unsatisfying team experiences I have been associated with always revolve around suspicion, distrust, poor communication.  A lesson learned is to not devote time, energy and other resources to people and situations that are mired in ineffective communication and distrust.

We are not always successful no matter the effort we might put into developing an effective relationship. It's okay to recognize mistakes even if said mistake is in the form of "wasted" or ineffective effort.  Step back. Regroup. Find the silver lining. Learn.  Get back into the game of life.

That's where I am now.

I gave up worrying about being accepted by the in-laws years ago because I have no control over them. It's easier on me to limit or restrict interactions with them. I am generally cordial with them and supportive when needed. I control these things.

I also cannot control the Lima City Schools. It took forever to get a foot in the door for non-coaching employment. They are fighting the Workers Compensation approval for an MRI and treatment of my knee. Why?  I do not know. They have not communicated with me. I have attempted communication with them on multiple levels and no one from Lima City Schools has responded.  Now we communicate through lawyers.  I find that bizarre, but out of my control.  I am moving on.

Those truly special teams I have been a part of?  Parkmore Little League basketball, St. Matthew Men's softball, NBC - Tech Men's basketball, Sumeno's, Botkins Soccer, the Grand Lake United 2012-14 soccer team. They all revolved around effective communication and a strong bond of trust forged in respect and overcoming adversity together.

Trust is the glue of life, the most essential ingredient in effective communication. Trust is the foundational principle that holds all relationships together.

When trust is absent, either through being broken or never being properly established, there will be a struggle.  Trust, once broken, can be extremely difficult to reestablish.  This is why the divorce rate is so high. It is why sports teams are constantly trading, waiving and searching for new players. The absence of trust often drives change for the sake of change.  I just cannot emphasize enough the importance of TRUST in sports and in Life itself.

Teamwork

I cannot begin to count the number of pickup games I have played over the years.  Basketball, baseball, soccer, football, kickball, whiffle ball: we learned early to pick sides and play. My wife always marvelled at how I could find a group of complete strangers playing a game at a park and in no time be a part of the action. A quick introduction during a break in the action and when play resumed I had a new set of teammates and more often than not new friends as well.

As I watched my son and his friends participate in the Ohio South ODP College Showcase event this past weekend I was struck by how quickly the players established roles on the field. These were basically pick up games involving 70 of the best 16 year old soccer players in Ohio South. There was potential for a lot of selfish play to present itself, but on my son's "Ireland" team this never became a problem.  From the very beginning the individuals shared the ball with the passing being quite good. It was much the same on the defensive side of the ball as players instinctively worked together.

Yes, there was some individualism that reared its head but the kids took care of that themselves and did so in relatively short order. I have seen this through the years and it never ceases to amaze me.  If you won't pass the ball, soon you will not be passed the ball either.  If you pass the ball and in doing so help your teammates look good, they will generally return the favor or will find themselves being isolated from play.  If you play defense, you immediately earn the respect of your teammates. If you don't defend, your team will work to isolate you so you are not involved in defending.

The boys were allowed to call off the player they wished to substitute for and by the end of the first session it was clear which players were earning the trust of their teammates and which were being subbed off on a regular basis. The best teammates played the vast majority of minutes in these games. Not always the best players although that pecking order was being established as well, but the players that played best with others.

As a coach, I am always conscious during training of the player(s) who constantly breakdown an activity. Who are the players whose decision making is most questionable, who take excessive touches, who are always losing possession of the ball or are the weak link defensively.  Even in training, as the competitive spirit comes forth, these players will be isolated from play. I observed the same thing happening at the ODP event this weekend.

I remind the members of my teams constantly that every time they step onto the field it is a tryout. Not only a tryout in terms of soccer but also in terms of life. You never know who is watching: a college recruiter or a possible future employer, someone you might call upon as a reference, the young lady you might want to date or even marry might be watching you.  First impressions as crucial. This was evident at the ODP event this weekend as well.  If your first touches on the ball involved poor decison-making or selfish play, it set the tone for your weekend. If your first opportunity to defend involved poor or little effort, it set the tone for your weekend.

These were lessons I learned early in life.  Scoring the basketball was always my strength, but sometimes that was not the role I needed to play for my team. In those pickup games of my youth, there were often older established players or perhaps scorers who were better than I or merely more familar to the group I had joined. I filled other roles until I earned the right to score the ball by taking advantage of opportunities through the run of play. Defending and passing the ball are excellent ways to establish trust with new or familar teammates. Making hustle plays endears yourself to teammates - rebound goals as opposed to the primary shot or winning / saving a loose ball to a teammate instead of waiting for someone to do so for you.

I became a very good defender by choice.  In pickup games almost no one wants to defend the other teams best scorer. It involves hard work of both mind and body. I always took the other teams best scorer.  I gained immediate acceptance in any group by doing so. And it led to opportunities to do what I liked to do best - score the ball. That approach helped earn me my first job in corporate accounting for an international retailer before I ever graduated from college.

As I watched the play this weekend one thought was constant in my mind: the kids that were showing well all played with an attitude of "what can I do for my team" while the ones that struggled were seemingly all about "what the team should do for me".  Pickup games are often like that, but so too is life. As a coach I look at a players decision-making abilities as the key consideration in any evaluation of their play.  This lesson was learned from playing (and observing) countless pickup games over the years. The ability to identify players who make good decisions with, AND perhaps especially without, the ball are the ones I want on my team. 

Next time you ask players to choose up sides or are involved in a pickup game yourself take note of when players are taken.  The ability of being a good teammate is highly prized often times even over playing ability. There's are reasons for that.

Yellow Cards

Here's a little secret for all you players: the referee fraternity is a tight knit group. They talk and share information with one another.  If you are argumentative on the pitch, if you give a lot of fouls, if you are awarded a yellow card caution or a red card send off, word gets around.

You need to work on your player / referee relationships gracefully and with tact or you will see yourself accumulating cards based on your reputation in the referee community.

Honor and respect the game.

Honor and respect your team.

Honor and respect the officials.

Honor and respect yourself.

Rules

People set rules to keep from making decisions.

 

There are several directions we could take a conversation on this idea.  Over-coaching or too narrowly defining roles to alleviate or limit player decision-making.  Stringent team rules that paint a coach into a corner when infractions occur. The exceptions to rules that always seem to arise.

 

The bottom line with rules is they are only necessary when an absence of truth and trust are present.

 

This of course goes directly to the culture of one's program, the essence of one's team and the character of its members.  If the coach / player relationship is not built on TRUTH there can be no true trust. In the absence of TRUST there must be rules to hold one another accountable. 

 

It then stands to reason, the more rules needed to govern the teams conduct the less trust there is within the program. 

 

Think about that for a minute as we consider there are only 17 Laws of the Game and only 4 of those deal with misconduct and penalty.  There is a truthful spirit of the game present in soccer. Participants trust the spirit of the game will be adhered to.  This is why soccer purists become so upset when an athlete "flops" on the pitch.

 

I put to you when the culture of a team is built on truth and trust it becomes much the same as the spirit of the game.  No one wants to break the sacred bond of truth and trust because to do so one dishonors their teammates and coaches.  

 

It's only when team standards are built on less than full truth and trust that rules for conduct become necessary.  The reason for this can be found in a single word - Respect.  Truth and Trust mandate respect for one another.  Honor, in all its definitions is prized. 

 

I recall as a young coach setting rules to address the comportment and deportment of a teams behavior.  It quickly got out of hand as each new transgression required addressing.  Caught up in the moment I failed to recognize the truth of what was happening - an assistant was openly sabotaging the culture of the team with designs on overthrowing me as head coach.  The truth eventual came out. The core of the team survived and eventually went on to great success. 

 

If a third word should be added to Truth and Trust it would have to be Forgiveness. When participating in a match we often hear a player claim his mistake by saying "my bad."  We do not do this on my teams.  We give a call of "next play!"  Embedded in Next Play! is forgiveness of the mistake just made. It communicates to the transgressor to put the mistake in the past and continue playing in the present. Addressing the reason for the mistake can take place in the future. It's a very honorable means of communicating truth, trust and forgiveness.

 

Team rules and role identifications must be built on the same foundations.  Actions and deed must be truth based for trust to be established.  Ownership of individual decision making must be granted and accepted.  Recognition that mistakes will be made is imperative.  The consequences for mistakes must be understood - in a match a mistake might result in lost possession or even a poor result.  This is okay within the culture of Truth, Trust and Forgiveness.  The same should hold true in the larger environment of the team and program.  Mistakes will be made. This is not open to debate.  What is open to debate is how mistakes will be dealt with.  This is where a culture based on Trust, Truth and Forgiveness is far superior to one based on rules and narrowly defined roles. 

 

 

 

 

Captains

Many players aspire to wear the "C" or captains armband in representation of his team. The truth is, not everyone is cut out or properly prepared to be a captain.

Captains can be difference makers for their team. You want positive difference makers as captains.

Captains are, as an extension of the coach, the on-field leaders of the team. Captains must set the tone and the pace for training. They decide the team's standards in training and for play - what is acceptable and what is not acceptable.

Not every player is suitable to be a captain. Poise and composure in addition to leadership skills are necessary to be an effective captain. A captain needs to be able to deal with effectively and positively with adversity encountered during training and matches. He must be a team player both capable and willing to help teammates in an encouraging and enabling manner. Captains must be builders, not destroyers, of confidence.

A captain must have both knowledge of and passion for the game of soccer. This is a player who has helped determine the shared vision of the team and is compelled in his commitment to helping the team achieve that vision.

Before leading others, a captain must take care of his own business. Not every player is a someone that others will listen to. A captain is not necessarily the teams "best" player nor is he necessarily the most outspoken player. The captain is a thinker and effective problem solver who places the team's achievement above all else. The captain is well respected by coaches and teammates alike.

Respect is given and received through positivity and a calm mature manner. Staying focused and on task is a necessity. He should have enthusiasm for the achievements of his teammates as well as his own. He should be encouraging and helpful to both coaches and teammates. In a word, steady. Never too high and never too low emotionally yet always engaged.

Captains cannot give lip service to the ideals and standards of the team. If he is going to talk the talk, he must walk the walk - in all aspects of the team environment including punctuality, fitness, communication, nutrition and hydration, respectfulness, trustworthiness and inclusiveness. Teammates are equals and each is valued equally for his contribution to the team no matter how great or small that contribution might be.

Just like a good coach, a captain must be a good listener. He must be approachable by both teammates and coaches as well as by referees. He must possess and exercise the ability to deal with each in a calm, poised and respectful manner.

A captain must be a team player and willingly follow instructions from the coaching staff. It is okay to debate with the coach(es) in private, but he must be respectful of the coach's final decision and follow through on instructions for the good of the team.

A captain must be knowledgeable of the game. On-the-pitch the captain should be able to function as a coach in directing play, helping maintain shape, space and pace from both sides of the ball. Good, effective and efficient communication is a must for a captain. Once again, taking caring of his own business first but not being so self absorbed that he cannot help teammates position and play to their full potential in a calm and composed manner.

Most importantly the captain embraces the position with humility and recognition that being a captain is both an honor and privilege, not a right or an entitlement. 

One of the best captains I ever had was a young lady by the name of Shayna. Thoroughly strong, resilient and inclusive. Compassionate when called upon to be. Respectful and trustworthy. A vocal on-field leader - both forceful and encouraging. I wish I could clone the characteristics, traits and qualities she brought to the role of captain.

What is your vision for the team?

I have a crystal clear HD Technicolor 3D movie with surround sound playing in my head depicting how I want my teams to play.  Often times players, especially players new to our team / system have a black and white static filled vision of how we want to play being received through rabbit ears antenna.  The process of coaching involves upgrading both the individual and collective teams viewing capabilities. I believe this is the accepted concept of how team sports work.

What if these roles are reversed?

There has been and will continue to be much debate about the value of high school soccer compared to club soccer.  For years, I have placed a greater value on high school soccer for the simple reason I had the student / athletes 5-6 days a week for 4 months out of the year.  In club soccer I had the athletes an average of 2-3 times a week for 6 months of the year. High school was the more intensive experience from both a teaching / learning perspective as well as from a playing experience.  Yes, club can afford the player / team more games, especially in the form of tournaments, but the club schedules can also have much less recovery time between matches. Again, especially where tournament play is concerned.

The team we had last spring played U19 and was the culmination of a 5 year building project.  Regular readers of this site will  know I have been torn about how the exceptional success of our club team has had a negative impact on many of our players when they returned to their high school teams.  My frustration stems from the founding principle and mission of our club to prepare area athletes for high school play.  Our team has indeed contributed to returning players with a higher level play to area high school soccer programs, but I never anticipated the problems that would arise because of this.  And ours was not the only club who contributed to what is a growing problem in our area..

"I have to dumb down my play when playing for my high school team"

"I cannot wait until club season" uttered early in the high school season.

"We know the system of play better than our coaches do"

"It's just a constant battle.  The club players are on one page, the coaches another and the rest of the team a complete chapter behind both"

"High school soccer is nowhere near as fun as club soccer is"

The above quotes began arising from our club players as they played for their high school teams. In one case, a captain of an MRL team was relegated to a junior varsity squad because he didn't dumb down his play for high school and therefore didn't fit into the coaches vision.  In other instances, players who played at the highest levels in club were held out of starting lineups or given diminished roles because they were not able or willing to assimilate their play to that of the high school team.

Somewhere in the process our (and other) club team(s) had transitioned to over preparing athletes for high school soccer. This past high school season my son Lance's team really struggled in part because the club athletes knew the system their coach wanted to play far better than the coach himself did.  Truth be told, the athletes had several years of experience in the system while the coach was brand new to the system.  Instead of relying on the players experience, the coach drew his vision from (black and white) books. Meanwhile the club athletes had been playing the system in HD Technicolor with surround sound for years.  The resulting battle of styles reminded me of the old tower antennas we had before the advent of cable or satellite TV -  whomever controlled the antenna controlled what could be watched on every TV in the house. 

The high school season was a complete disaster mainly because a shared vision for how to play was never agreed upon by coach, club players and non-club players.  Instead of high school coaches using their best players to raise the level of play of their teammates, the clubs players would (and did) say they had to "dumb down" their play to the level of non-club players.  This is a most curious thing that saw raw, but physically gifted work horses prized over technically sound players with high soccer IQ's.

I could not help but think of Johan Cruyff;

“All coaches talk too much about running a lot. I say it’s not necessary to run so much. Soccer is a game that’s played with the brain. You need to be in the right place at the right time, not too early, not too late. If it’s only about running, then you create a running game. I don’t think it is a running game. It is a beautiful game. It is about rhythm and dictating the tempo, and so on. Not only about playing forward, but about the journey the ball takes as it is moved toward goal. In order to protect the goal, you should protect the ball. That means you must be comfortable with the ball – first touch, shielding, passing, bending, shooting the ball. Isn't that the key, you don't have to win physical battles if you don't get into them. If the ball's always on the ground who cares if the kid's not good in the air. If you're not creating 50/50 balls you don't need the kids who can win most of them."

Simple words of pure genius.

The coaches on Lance's high school team championed the ability to win 50/50 balls and praised those that did so even as they created more 50/50 balls.  There was little to no consideration given to not creating 50/50 balls in the first place.  I wrote of this strange phenomenon in 50/50 Balls. Why some players are 1st to them and others win them.  A consequence of championing 50/50 balls was turning games into ping pong matches on grass. You needed to have your head on a swivel as the ball was constantly whacked back and forth up and down the field. I am fairly certain this is not the coach's ideal vision for how the game should be played, but it is nonetheless how his team did "play."

Teaching individual players and a collective team your vision for how the game should be played is not for the faint of heart.  Your commitment level to do so must be in the compelled range.  The real difference between the club teams and the high school teams is found in each coach's commitment to sharing and teaching their vision.  It is far easier to ask someone to dumb down their play than it is to teach someone how to elevate their play.  If the coach is not fully committed to teaching, then he will settle for something less than the best his team has to offer.

A big factor in this process is coaches who played in college believing they know more than their current players do.  The two most underachieving teams in our area are coached by former college players.  Why do they underachieve?  In part because the coaches do not listen to their best players.  Whether it is a lack of respect and trust, arrogance on the coach's part or a simple matter of teacher being intimidated by the intelligence and potential of players can be debated. What cannot be debated is the fact this situation should never arise and in fact does not arise in the truly good / great programs.

A head coach's coaching tree is often a good indicator of the confidence level of the head coach himself.  The confident head coach will surround himself with the best and brightest minds he can find knowing full well their time with him will be brief as they will be moving on to their own head coaching gigs.  (Think Ohio State football's Urban Meyer)  But in return, the head coach himself gains a valuable learning experience gleaning concepts and ideas from his assistants.  This type of assistant helps form and fine tune the coach's vision for how he wants his team to play. They help teach the coach's vision to players and bring focus to how the team plays.

Each season's coaching process should begin with one simply question;  What is my vision for how our team should play? The process itself is the work done to make your vision the collective vision of the team.  Input from assistant coaches and players alike is a prerequisite to solidifying the collective vision.  There must be a shared ownership of the vision. Only once a collective vision is determined and agreed upon can progress be made towards bringing that vision to fruition.  A program or team lacking an agreed upon collective vision is destined to underachieve. 

For the Good of the TEAM.

Much has been written of TEAM chemistry.  In recent years a cottage industry has arisen to help coaches address team bonding. The market is seemingly flooded with books, videos, webinars and seminars devoted to promoting effective TEAM leadership through education and TEAM bonding exercises. Almost all of this information is directed at players. 

What about coaches?

Team Rules

When I first began coaching I used a set of team rules my own coaches had used for teams I played on.  It was a rather lengthy list, at least by my present standards.  Lessons learned over the years taught me fewer hard and fast rules are better for there are always exceptions. Trying to legislate everything only produces drama and more work for the coaching staff.  Our US government could benefit from learning a similar lesson, but I digress.

Our players will quickly tell you I have 3 rules. They don't always get the first two right, but they know the third one by heart.

You dissed me!

When I hold a “parents meeting” in preparation for a season one of the things covered is consequences for misconduct on the field and on the parent’s sideline. I do often wonder why it has become necessary to even do so. It is a bit discouraging to realize how often our young people use the word “disrespect” as a verb and to justify their own disrespectful actions toward the perpetrator of this crime.

Yes, I am old and very definitely old school as the kids would say.

I believe sports teach life lessons and one of the most important of those is to respect one another. In the context of a sporting event, players, coaches, referees, parents and spectators as well as organizers and hosts must operate with a healthy measure of respect for one another for the event to be a success.                        

PLAYERS are the focal point of sporting contests. Whether you are a starter, a substitute or even a seldom used bench warmer the respect you give towards all others in attendance sets the standard. On match day the expectation is for you to work with your coaches and captains to allow the referee to perform their role as managers of the game without the abuse of dissent.

You have a duty to respect the game you play and all of its participants. We have a severe shortage of referees and the primary reason for this is the abuse players, coaches, parents and spectators subject them to. Protect the game you love by showing respect for the referee crew and all participants.

COACHES have the most important role in establishing a healthy level of respect in the game. They are not only responsible for themselves, but also for their players and the spectators present to cheer the team on.

On game day, it is a responsibility of the coaches to work with their players, the players parents and all spectators to insure the referees can fulfill their role in the contest without be subjected to abuse.

By setting the example in demonstrating respect for all other participants coaches can insure the overall success of the sporting event.

REFEREES have the most difficult job on game day. Players, coaches, parents and spectators all expect perfection from the referees. It can be difficult to maintain respect for people who dispute your judgment and constantly heap verbal abuse on you. Nonetheless, this is what the referees must do.  

Referees who manage the game with respect for both the game and its participants can diffuse tensions and keep the game on course toward a successful conclusion.

Referees can also provide a valuable service to coaches and organizations by providing feedback on player and spectator behavior during matches. It is not only a sign or respect to listen to referee feedback but vitally important to address their legitimate concerns if securing high quality officiating for future matches is important to you.

PARENTS AND SPECTATORS cheering in a respectful manner goes a long ways towards an enjoyable experience for all. Unfortunately, sometimes the competition along the parents sidelines or in the stands is as fierce as it is on the pitch.

Our league requires parents to sign a Code of Conduct. There are severe repercussions for violating this Code of Conduct that extend to the teams coaches as well. Obviously there was a need to implement these measures. This is not only a shame but a disgrace to youth sports.

Parents need to set a proper example for their children. Verbal abuse to an extent a referee removes a parent from a venue sets a horrible example. In my opinion, it is worse even than a coach or player being dismissed from the contest. Respect starts at home.

Verbal abuse of players by parents / spectators amounts to nothing short of bullying. Shameful behavior that should not and will not be tolerated on my watch. Respect starts at home, but unfortunately disrespect starts at home as well. I applaud the commercials on TV encouraging kids to make a stand against bullying. We should all heed the message.

HOSTS AND ORGANIZERS show respect by taking care of the details and being prepared to host the event. The field is properly marked. Corner flags are in place. Restroom facilities are open and clean. Concessions are available. Ball boys are available. All the details that go into hosting a contest are readied in advance. 

In the unfortunate advent of an uncooperative participant they are prepared and ready to support the referee’s decisions, handle the situation and diffuse tensions.

MY FINAL THOUGHTS on Respect and Disrespect: If you want respect, you earn it. You earn respect by following the golden rule. Matthew 7:12, So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you. It really is that simple. If you would not want someone to come to your place of work and verbally abuse you, do not verbally abuse the referees, coaches, players or other spectators. If you do not like being disrespected, do not disrespect others. And when you witness disrespect or bullying, make a stand!

How does one go about changing a culture of losing?

Over the years I have developed a loose set of guidelines I follow each time I take over a team. This is what I want to share with you today. I cannot claim it is foolproof, but I have had success with this method. Take it for what it is worth. Adapt it to fit your own personality and the needs of the program.

1) Identify the problem.

If you have experience in a successful program and have now taken on a struggling program you will be able to identify some areas that need to be addressed, but do not go it alone.  Ask people who have been around the program for their input and in doing so, remember not to shoot the messenger. You need their honesty to fully understand and appreciate the depth of the issues preventing the program from being successful. You may well need them to buy into the changes you will eventually decide to implement. Most especially, listen to the athletes who have been / are in the program.

2) Accept the situation you find yourself in.

The issues you face may not be of your making but they are yours now. Own them. In doing so you are accepting the responsibility to change it and will hold yourself accountable for doing so.

3) Seek solutions.

If all we've ever done is all we ever do then all we'll ever be is what we have always been.  In order to change the culture we will need to learn to approach things differently, expand our realm of thought.  It can help to have players and coaches self-evaluate the program by asking members to individually write their answers to 3 simple questions.

Note: there will be no wrong answers.

1) Describe the current status of the program.
2) Where do you want to help take the program?
3) What needs to change to get the program moving in the right direction?

What we are looking for is commonality. What can be agreed upon? Themes.

4) Begin to implement the necessary changes.

To be completely honest, this is where the stress begins.  You need to have buy-in and not everyone will. There will be resistance from some quarters. Typically resistance comes from those who have been dominant personalities in the old culture. They have enjoyed success. They now feel threatened by the changes you are about to institute.

Changes in approach.

I often bring a new "break" or team cheer to a program. Something geared to improve attitude by changing the way members see themselves and their teammates.

Prepare like ...........  Champions!
Play like ................  Champions!
Become .................  Champions!

Sometimes it is necessary to institute a standard for appearances to help facilitate an atmosphere of "team".  Everyone is required to wear the same color of t-shirt for practice. Maybe even have a team t-shirt for practice.  All shirts must be properly tucked it.  The idea here is, in order to act like a team we must look the part. If we want to be champions, we need to look like champions.

Attire is often one of the first places rebelling against change can be seen.  Purposely wearing inappropriate attire either to draw attention to themselves or to simply thumb their nose at proposed changes ... and the people instituting them.

Changes in the way a team practices / trains / prepares can also be instituted. Many times these are more readily accepted. Compromises sometimes must be made as we bridge the gap from old to new. I do not like static stretching at the beginning of practice. My teams use dynamic stretching. However, I am willing to compromise on stretching routines.

Change is about taking individuals and a team out of its established comfort zones and challenging them to learn new things, expand their way of thinking and playing. Sometimes we need to allow them to maintain part of their old comfort zone while we establish the foundations of a new one. Stretching is a rather easy area to compromise on.

5) Establish high (er) expectations and mutual responsibility and accountability.  All teams condition and train. It is the standards that they set and are held to in conditioning and training that separates the great teams from all others. People and teams tend to underachieve when no one asks them to do more than "just enough to get by".  Standards for dress, code of behavior, core values of the program we want to be - all of these can be used to raise expectations. Hold one another accountable - positive peer pressure enforcing individual responsibility to self and team. Establish the belief that we can be and will become more than we have been.

6) Troubled programs with a culture of losing are often overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness and negativity.  Immediately begin a transition towards establishing a nurturing and positive atmosphere.  One of the first things I implement with new teams is the abolishment of saying "my bad" after a mistake is made.  Instead we say, "Next play!".

Mistakes are negatives. "My bad" reinforces the idea that a negative has occurred. Now we have two negatives in a row and a trend beginning.  Break the chain of negativity at the earliest opportunity to do so. You make a mistake on the pitch and chances are everyone knows it anyway. No need to own up to it. It is not the first nor the last you will make. What is important is to stay focused on the task at hand, the game. "Next play!" tells us to move on. To play in the present instead of dwelling on the past.

Encourage one another.
Help one another.
Coach one another.

Any criticism must be constructive in nature.  A lesson must be received and accepted when criticism is given. The tone of voice and wording of the message must not be harsh, critical, negative.

7) Changing personnel may be necessary.

In (1) above I discussed the necessity of learning from those that have been in the program in order to discover what issues are present that have prevented the program from achieving to potential. In (3) above I discussed how some individuals may be resistant and reluctant to change. It may become necessary to dismiss staff or even cut players in order to move forward.

When people who do not buy in cannot be removed from the program or at the very least be pushed to the background, progress will stall until they are lost to attrition or retirement. In today's instant gratification environment the "problem people" can and unfortunately do at times outlast the coach / change of culture.

*** Changing a culture is a process with buy-in as a critical ingredient. Those involved must recognize change is needed and be willing to embrace change. Sometimes, as bad as a culture might be, those in and around the program just are not ready to change it.  You must attempt to make this determination as part of (1) above. 

The "P" Words

Pray

 

Prayer is an important first step in any endeavor. Give thanks for the opportunity. Ask for guidance and allow God to provide you strength to see you through.

 

Prepare

 

Proper preparation is the key to an endeavor. It is important to study for the test you are about to undertake. Prayer is a form of preparation, but don't assume God will do it all. You need to put in work to be ready for your opportunity.

 

Proceed

 

Get started. Sometimes this seems easier said than done. Lot's of people prepare only to get cold feet. They lack Faith to see it through. Remember your prayers and preparations. Take the first step.

 

Persevere

 

Two rules here.  1) Always take one more step.  2) Refer to Rule #1.  The most difficult opponent is the one who never gives up. Make sure whomever you are going against gets your best effort.

 

Prevail

 

We all want to win. The first four "P" words are about getting you to the point of winning.  The cold hard fact is, no one wins every time. Sooner or later the scoreboard will show you came up short. The satisfaction found in winning can also be found in having done your best.  Prevailing is not always about where you finish, although that is important. Sometimes it about how you played the game. The improvement made. The sportsmanship shown.  The honor and respect on display in your play.

Communication and Relationships - The Art and Science of Coaching

Back in my college days I took a couple of courses on coaching.  The "professors" were basketball and football coaches.  Both courses were largely anecdotal with a fair smattering of logistical considerations thrown in. I'm not sure how much I actually learned about coaching, but they were fun classes.

Soccer is one sport that actually promotes coaching education through the USSF and NSCAA as well as a few smaller organizations.  Even so, many people in our area are given a whistle, clipboard and roster of players then declared a coach as is the standard in most sports.

Even within the soccer family the quality of education provided and required is a bit murky.  The USSF largely tests ones knowledge to an extent if you do not know what you are doing the only real benefit to be gained from some of their courses is the re-verse engineering of them so that you might pass on your second try.  The NSCAA does a much better job of teaching the art and science of coaching but in no way, shape or form provides an extensively inclusive education.

While the two organizations are friendly rivals competing for your dollars they are also complimentary in the sense many coaches take the NSCAA courses as preparatory work for the USSF courses.  For all I know, the two organizations may be in cahoots with one another?

The fact remains, if you wish to coach at the upper levels of the game - college or professional - one must have passed the USSF "A" licensure course or a foreign equivalent.  There is not another major sport that requires such a license to coach.  In sports like baseball, football, basketball and hockey the "license" a coach obtains is from experience and success.  If your teams are successful, your experience as their coach is deemed proof of your ability to coach.

That leaves many people to stumble upon the art and sciences of coaching. Playing experience becomes a factor, but the most important aspect of learning to coach will be those you learn the game from - your coaching mentors.  When it comes to soccer, for me this is Graham Ramsay and Ken White.  I learned the "do's" of coaching from these gentlemen.  I have learned what not to do from the school of hard knocks - my own mistakes and those of people who have coached me or my sons. 

Becoming a student of the game is something I have written often about, but as I type today I think a better description of that process would to become a student of coaching and a student of the game. Even in this context the single most important thing to recognize is the relationship aspect of coaching.  Building the coach / player relationship is the very foundation of coaching. 

Over the years I have certainly learned more about soccer.  I know far more about each component of the game - technique, tactics, physical and psychological - then I ever dreamed existed when I started out as coach of an undefeated U6 team 20+ years ago.  I've learned even more about relationships - how to build and maintain them - and this has been the enduring life lesson soccer has taught me. 

It's not all been positive though.  I recently wrote a letter of recommendation for a coaching candidate and closed it by offering the highest form of endorsement I have - I would not only allow, but welcome the opportunity for my children to play for the candidate.  There are very few people who receive that endorsement from me.  For example, my wife and I allowed our sons to play for the local high school coaches even though we did not welcome their opportunity to do so with open arms.  We recognized the coaches as trustworthy men even if we did not always appreciate or respect their coaching methodology. More specifically we did not appreciate the lack of quality in the coach / player relationships.

Going through the college selection and recruiting process with your youngest son the considerations are finding a school Lance likes that offers the degree he seeks and has a coaching staff he connects with.  Trust me, that is a tall order.  Lots of good schools. Many offer the course of study he wants to pursue. Several have soccer programs with coaches who are expressing interest. Do any of them meet his expectations in all three areas?

As I contemplate this, I cannot help but wonder how many parents approach youth soccer or youth sports in general in this manner?  I know there were youth coaches I did not want anywhere near my sons.  We either avoided them or in the one instance with Lance we pulled him out of the program to avoid his exposure to her "coaching."

I know there are some who do not wish to play for me.  I understand that.  With me, I do not play favorites. You might believe you are the best player around, but if you expect special considerations you might as well go elsewhere.   Not happening in my program.   A classic example of this was a player named Kelly.  Kelly and her parents had the perception she was the best player the program had ever produced and somehow based this and her value / worth as a player on Kelly scoring a great preponderance of the teams goals.  When I introduced a system of play with balanced scoring, they thought Kelly's soccer playing world had come to an end even as the program enjoyed its most successful seasons ever on the field.  I understood this even as I never understood this.

We are speaking to the "art" of coaching in the sense that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Kelly and her parents never really challenged the science behind my coaching.  They readily admitted that I knew the game as well as anyone they had encountered, they just didn't appreciate how I applied that  knowledge when it came to Kelly.  Their contention was I held Kelly back even as the team was wildly successful.  The disconnect was on a relationship level. 

The art and science of coaching are tied together by the relationship bond between coach and players.  Sometimes I feel salesmanship is one of the most important aspects of coaching. Being able to sell players (and their families) on the programs goals and ideals is crucial to achieving "buy-in" which in turn is the single most important determining factor in a teams success.  Of course, we are talking about communication.  The players, the team must be receptive to what the coach is selling and effective communication is the cornerstone for success in this area.

If a team does not buy into the coach's program -  his formation and system of play, his expectations for standard of conduct -  it's going to be a long season marked by underachievement and discontent... even if the team happens to be winning.  A team that buys-in tends to be a happy team even when the on-field results are not as good as they might be.  The perception that they are improving each time they step on the field, that the process is working, can cover for a lot of disappointment and frustration. Again, we address not only the art and science of coaching but the importance of building relationships.  Coach / player relationships.  Effective communication. 

What about player / player relationships?  Team Chemistry.  Team Bonding.  This too is very important and within the purview of the coach.  It's not about fostering an environment in which everyone loves one another. Its all about building trust and respect within the team setting.  It's all about individuals being able to effectively communicate with one another and trust what is being communicated to each other.

Relationships. 

Trust is the glue of life, the most essential ingredient in effective communication. Trust is the foundational principle that holds all relationships together.  The beauty of art will always be in the eyes of the beholder and the science of the game will always hold certain truths therefore the difference maker from a coaching perspective is found in relationships.  Coach / player and player / player relationships.  Effective Communication.  Trust and Respect.

Traits of a Good Coach

A good coach knows results are not the ultimate measure of success in athletics.

Passion For The Game: Coaches need to love the sport they coach and be able to share their enthusiasm for their sport with the players entrusted to them. Their passion must transcend all aspects of the game - the teaching of technique and tactics, respect for the spirit of the game, opponents, officials and spectators and ensuring a positive environment of encouragement and empowerment.

Love of Players:  A coach needs to love working with the players of the age group he coaches. The relationship between coach and player should energize and motivate both parties. It is a relationship to be celebrated in the context of athletics and in the broader spectrum of life.

Knowledge: A coach must be a student of the game. Continuing education is not an option. The moment you think you know everything there is to know about the game is the point in time you should stop coaching.

The Ability to Teach: This is a companion to knowledge. A coach must have an ability to teach the basics fundamentals and deeper intricacies of the game. In order to do so the coach will need to recognize not all players learn in the same manner and be able to adapt lesson / practice plans to keep everyone on the same page.

Patience: This might be the most important trait a coach needs. On the soccer field the decisions players make can evoke emotions ranging from satisfaction to bewilderment to irritation. And then there are the off-the-field issues that can creep into the equation as well. Being able to maintain an even keel is of vital importance for a coach.

Tolerance: Is the companion of patience. Players bring the entire range of emotions with them to practice and the game. Getting them to be able to focus and concentrate on soccer for the time you have them can be a challenge. The ability to enable players to channel their energies in a focused and positive direction on the task at hand (soccer) is a key characteristic found in good coaches.

Acceptance: The third part of the coaching trinity along with Patience and Tolerance is Acceptance. Each player is an individual and each comes with varied potential, technical and tactical skill levels. Each player has value as an individual and as a member of your team. You must acknowledge and nurture that worth in order to spark passion for the sport and a desire to work on improving within each player.

Respect: Treat players with the respect you wish to be treated with. You may think the title of coach brings you respect, but you would be wrong.  Respect is not given or bestowed upon a coach. As a coach you must earn respect just as you expect players to earn your respect.

Motivation: I include motivation in this listing because we so often hear of its importance in athletics, but if we take care of Patience, Tolerance, Acceptance and Respect you will find little difficulty in motivating players... or people.

Sportsmanship:  I include sportsmanship much as I did motivation for if we are patient, tolerant, accepting and respectful it stands to reason we will also exhibit good sportsmanship.

In summation, coaching is about treating people as you would like to be treated while igniting a passion within them to become the best they can be as a player and teammate in the sport they have chosen to participate in. 

What position do you play?

I often think about "Greg" who came to us as a varsity ready athlete as a freshman. It just so happened the varsity had an opening for a wing defender that year. Greg was physically gifted enough to man that spot. Through summer workouts and team camps Greg was worked with to prepare him for the role. He played as our left back during scrimmages and acquitted himself well.  If I recall correctly it was after our first regular season match that Greg came to the coaching staff and proclaimed "I'm a forward. That's all I have ever played and that's where I want to play in high school." Greg spent the next 3 seasons toiling away as a forward on the JV squad. As a senior he played forward for the varsity.I guess he was happy with his decision even as his coaching staff and teammates were not.

One might think "Greg" is an exception, but that really isn't the case.  I see this attitude on a regular basis.  In recent years I have had a goalkeeper who believed she was a center midfielder until it became clear to her that she was the teams 4th or 5th best option as a center midfielder.  I have had a defensive midfielder who insisted he was a forward. I have had a center defender who insisted he was a attacking midfielder. The commonality between all these players and others like them is a "me first" attitude.

Other players are more than happy to fill any role asked of them. Perhaps they have a different type of "me-first" attitude, one that serves the team. These are the kids that sacrifice the position they want in order to play and help their team by doing so.  In exchange they have almost always expanded their game and become better all round players. If one looks at the youth playing expeience of our national team players you will discover almost all have changed positions as they advanced through the ranks. I have to wonder about those who refused to change positions or stubbornly proclaimed they were "a forward" as Greg did all those years ago.

To paraphrase John F Kennedy, "Ask not what your team can do for you, ask what you can do for your team." 

It's such a great quote.  It speaks to sacrificing for the greater good. I think it is an indicator of the quality of "team chemistry" that is present in the individual and by extension the collective team. I believe it speaks to embracing opportunities instead of blaming obstacles. It speaks to an open mindedness instead of a closed mind. 

As a coach, give me the kid that wants to play. Period.  One of my favorite players of all time was a starting defender / center midfielder who when the need arose to train an emergency goalkeeper volunteered without hesitation to fill that role too. "Kevin" worked with the goalkeepers every day in addition to working as a center defender and center midfielder. His goalkeeping abilities improved to a degree that he would have sufficed in a pinch. Thankfully the need never arose, but I love, love, love the attitude and spirit!

My advice to players is this, if a coach asks what position you play, your response should be "I prefer _____, but am more than willing to play wherever you and the team need me to play"  and mean what you say.

Managing the Game: Lopsided scores.

Lopsided results are a part of athletics. In this article I seek to provide ideas of how to manage games when such a result is anticipated or is occurring. It is much better to be proactive than it is to be reactive in such situations. Think of the reactions generated when one team puts a beat down on another team. No one really comes away happy, do they?

I believe we must honor the spirit of the game. For this to happen everyone must give the best effort they have on any given day - both teams - including coaches and players, the referees, athletic trainers, announcers, scoreboard operators, site officials, bus drivers, concession workers, parents and other spectators.  So, I believe there is an expectation and a responsibility for each team to play as they have trained to play in order to honor the game. Hold that thought for a minute.

How to handle blowout situations is actually a fairly common topic amongst soccer coaches. They happen frequently. Although it is the 15-0 type of score that generates anew discussions on the subject, the final margin is a relative matter.  I am going to list some ideas that often surface on what to do when one team is over matched.  These ideas come from well established coaches in the high school and collegiate ranks.

After reaching a plus 5 margin on the scoreboard coaches will often attempt to do one or more of the following.

1) Sit as many starters as possible for the rest of the match.
2) Place a restriction of completing "X" number of consecutive passes without the other team touching the ball before being allowed to shoot on goal again.
3) Play normally but insist every shot taken is high or wide of goal.
4) Mandate that every player must play only with their off foot.
5) Invert the positions of players - forwards go to the back line, defenders go to forward.  Change goalkeepers and attempt to get the teams goalkeeper a goal.

Personally I am not sure any of these are in the spirit of the game.

So, what do I do?

Well, first of all I have been on both sides of blowouts.  I always feel worse about being on the winning side of one of these games, especially if the team receiving the beat down has this happen to them on a regular basis.  I don't mind getting beaten by a large margin once in awhile for those lopsided losses can provide more than ample learning opportunities for the losing team.  I have often found the starting point for a turnaround performance from the ashes of such a defeat.

When I suspect a match might turn into a blowout in my favor I will approach the other coach to discuss each others teams. If he is self-aware and receptive to the idea we will work cooperatively to formulate a joint game plan.  Often times this will involve our team playing normally until a score of 5-0 has been achieved. At that point we will change gears and help the opponents to work on whatever aspect of play the opposing coach and his team have been focusing on in training.

For example, one coach was trying to incorporate target play into his teams attacking philosophy.  Simple enough. My team set a restraining line of 30 yards out from our own goal. Every time we lost possession we got everyone back behind the ball - a fundamentally sound defending tactic - and played shadow defense until the opponents advanced the ball to the restraining line at which time we fully engaged them. Then we worked on building our attack out of the back when we regained possession of the ball.  Teamwork.... being achieved through two teams working together. Both teams got to work on areas and aspects of the game that might be difficult to replicate in training.

A second example, we later put the withdrawn restraining line to use against a team who sought to draw us into their own end of the pitch to create counter attack situations for themselves. We sat back and waited on them to attack, which they eventually did only not the way they had wanted to. We forced them to alter their game plan against us. When we scored first to go up 1-0 against them we really sat back in our own half of the field. In this manner that weaker opponent help prepare us for a strong opponent.

I want to be clear that when I wrote of playing shadow defense a couple paragraphs earlier we did not play completely passively. What we did do was to allow the opponents target players to receive the ball in front of us.  They knew of and felt our physical presence while receiving back to goal. We just kept the opponent and ball in front of us containing and delaying the attack instead of attempting to challenge for the ball. We waited at our established line of confrontation to pressure to win the ball.  This is actually another fundamental defensive tactic we will sometimes employ.

Target play is designed to accomplish a couple of different things.

1) It allows the attacking team to transition fully into the attack by allowing players to get forward and establish a preferred attacking team shape.

2) A strategy behind passing to a target player playing back to goal is to hold the opposing backs in place and preserve the space behind them to be attacked through. That space has a name - it is called negative space. 

So, in playing shadow defense we allowed the weaker team time to gather themselves in numbers to attack us and by not stepping to meet the initial thrust made by playing to the target player we continued to deny them negative space. We made them work to get into and through the negative space behind us.

Everyone benefited. Both teams accomplished something positive out of a bad situation.

Other tactics I have employed include taking a player off the pitch and having my team play a man down. Red card send offs do unfortunately happen. Only twice in 21 years of coaching soccer for me, but they do happen. In older teenage groups I have on occasion found my team down a player or two because of player conflicts with church, work, prom, graduations and such.  Playing a man down when up big in a game is great preparation for when this happens in your future. 

Along with the opposing coach I have asked for a continuous running clock to shorten the actual length of a match.  In this vein of thought we also take no quick restarts and will allow opponents to set their defense before restarting the game.  It is also possible to use frequent substitutions to both shorten the game and allow the opponents time to rest, regroup and refocus.

Another tactic I will use is to move players from their normal positions, but when I do so I make them adhere to the expectations and responsibilities for the new position.  If I put a center back in at forward the expectation is that he will play back to goal, facilitate our teams build up and play team first soccer. The last thing I want is for the center back turned forward to stand with the opposing backs screaming to be played through.  That's not how our team usually plays attacking soccer and I refuse to allow bad habits to set in just so someone who doesn't usually score much can get a goal against a weak opponent.

Think about that... If you feel you must place a restriction on your team make it this one. Your team must score good goals from a build up of a team attack. Stay within your formation and system of play. Be true to the way your team practices to play. In this manner you actually build team depth and player versatility - both being good things to accomplish for your team.

Anyway, there are definitely ways to manage blowout matches within the spirit of the game. There are means to have both teams take positives away from a bad situation.

We have all seen the me-first player. The kid who is all about accumulating stats for himself.  The teams success is almost secondary to the individual accomplishments and accolades. Why in the world would any player take pride in scoring 7 goals against a weak opponent. Isn't a single goal against a quality opponent much more rewarding and satisfying?

What I advocate is to strive as two teams working together in the spirit of the game. In the end results and records will fade away, but the game will endure. It is our responsibility to make sure we leave the game a little better than we found it each time we step off the pitch. Lopsided results make this difficult, but not impossible to accomplish.

Culture is so important to successful teams.

When topics such as culture and tradition are talked about as much as they are by coaches and players alike it seems a wise choice for people serious about being successful in athletics to pay attention.  Reality is culture and tradition apply to life as well.

Culture is so important to successful teams.

 

What and how do you want your team to feel?

 

What and how do you want your team to see?

 

What and how do you want your team to think?

 

What and how do you want your team to believe?

 

What do you want your team to embody?

 

 

Players on successful teams possess a sense of ownership built upon a foundation of accountability and .responsibility. This is the "brotherhood" or family atmosphere of which players speak. When this bond exists players will sacrifice for the greater good and the whole becomes greater than the sum of its parts. 

 

How does a team develop such a culture? 

 

It is largely a matter of choice. 

 

How will each of the team members answer the questions above? 

 

 

Successful coaches devote as much time to developing, establishing and maintaining a team's culture as they do on developing technical and tactical skills.  The market is flooded with Internet sites, books, videos and "motivational speakers" willing to share their thoughts on developing and sustaining a team culture.  Select a coach or team who embodies what you wish your team to embody and research their methodology.  Go beyond technique and tactics to discover what they do to develop, establish and maintain the culture you admire and desire for your team.  This is the work that separates the good/great coaches from the rest. People who can teach technique and tactics are a dime a dozen, but coaches who can empower their players with ownership through accountability and  responsibility to self, teammates and tradition are usually the ones winning championships.

 

 

If you want a WINNING culture in your program,

 

 it begins with a WORKING culture.

 

Coaches need to put the same amount of work in on establishing the culture they want for their team as they do in teaching proper technique and tactics.  A successful, winning culture is not going to magically appear. It takes diligent effort, an intelligent work ethic and it begins with the coach and his staff.