You dissed me!

When I hold a “parents meeting” in preparation for a season one of the things covered is consequences for misconduct on the field and on the parent’s sideline. I do often wonder why it has become necessary to even do so. It is a bit discouraging to realize how often our young people use the word “disrespect” as a verb and to justify their own disrespectful actions toward the perpetrator of this crime.

Yes, I am old and very definitely old school as the kids would say.

I believe sports teach life lessons and one of the most important of those is to respect one another. In the context of a sporting event, players, coaches, referees, parents and spectators as well as organizers and hosts must operate with a healthy measure of respect for one another for the event to be a success.                        

PLAYERS are the focal point of sporting contests. Whether you are a starter, a substitute or even a seldom used bench warmer the respect you give towards all others in attendance sets the standard. On match day the expectation is for you to work with your coaches and captains to allow the referee to perform their role as managers of the game without the abuse of dissent.

You have a duty to respect the game you play and all of its participants. We have a severe shortage of referees and the primary reason for this is the abuse players, coaches, parents and spectators subject them to. Protect the game you love by showing respect for the referee crew and all participants.

COACHES have the most important role in establishing a healthy level of respect in the game. They are not only responsible for themselves, but also for their players and the spectators present to cheer the team on.

On game day, it is a responsibility of the coaches to work with their players, the players parents and all spectators to insure the referees can fulfill their role in the contest without be subjected to abuse.

By setting the example in demonstrating respect for all other participants coaches can insure the overall success of the sporting event.

REFEREES have the most difficult job on game day. Players, coaches, parents and spectators all expect perfection from the referees. It can be difficult to maintain respect for people who dispute your judgment and constantly heap verbal abuse on you. Nonetheless, this is what the referees must do.  

Referees who manage the game with respect for both the game and its participants can diffuse tensions and keep the game on course toward a successful conclusion.

Referees can also provide a valuable service to coaches and organizations by providing feedback on player and spectator behavior during matches. It is not only a sign or respect to listen to referee feedback but vitally important to address their legitimate concerns if securing high quality officiating for future matches is important to you.

PARENTS AND SPECTATORS cheering in a respectful manner goes a long ways towards an enjoyable experience for all. Unfortunately, sometimes the competition along the parents sidelines or in the stands is as fierce as it is on the pitch.

Our league requires parents to sign a Code of Conduct. There are severe repercussions for violating this Code of Conduct that extend to the teams coaches as well. Obviously there was a need to implement these measures. This is not only a shame but a disgrace to youth sports.

Parents need to set a proper example for their children. Verbal abuse to an extent a referee removes a parent from a venue sets a horrible example. In my opinion, it is worse even than a coach or player being dismissed from the contest. Respect starts at home.

Verbal abuse of players by parents / spectators amounts to nothing short of bullying. Shameful behavior that should not and will not be tolerated on my watch. Respect starts at home, but unfortunately disrespect starts at home as well. I applaud the commercials on TV encouraging kids to make a stand against bullying. We should all heed the message.

HOSTS AND ORGANIZERS show respect by taking care of the details and being prepared to host the event. The field is properly marked. Corner flags are in place. Restroom facilities are open and clean. Concessions are available. Ball boys are available. All the details that go into hosting a contest are readied in advance. 

In the unfortunate advent of an uncooperative participant they are prepared and ready to support the referee’s decisions, handle the situation and diffuse tensions.

MY FINAL THOUGHTS on Respect and Disrespect: If you want respect, you earn it. You earn respect by following the golden rule. Matthew 7:12, So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you. It really is that simple. If you would not want someone to come to your place of work and verbally abuse you, do not verbally abuse the referees, coaches, players or other spectators. If you do not like being disrespected, do not disrespect others. And when you witness disrespect or bullying, make a stand!