Team Rules

When I first began coaching I used a set of team rules my own coaches had used for teams I played on.  It was a rather lengthy list, at least by my present standards.  Lessons learned over the years taught me fewer hard and fast rules are better for there are always exceptions. Trying to legislate everything only produces drama and more work for the coaching staff.  Our US government could benefit from learning a similar lesson, but I digress.

Our players will quickly tell you I have 3 rules. They don't always get the first two right, but they know the third one by heart.



1) Be Respectful.
2) Have Fun
3) Don't Piss Off the Coach.

The first two rules are spot on with the third being a tongue in cheek way to remind them of the first two. With the exception of my two years coaching at Lima Central Catholic I have had remarkably few discipline problems over the years.  A testament to the fact a lot of rules are not necessary to maintain discipline. Be Respectful pretty much covers it all.

When it comes to team rules what we are actually talking abut is maintaining discipline.  We can reduce this down to two basic steps:

1) Define expected behavior as opposed to unacceptable behavior
2) Identify consequences for unacceptable behavior and possibly rewards for expected behavior.

Let's take a look at a few examples.

Expected Behavior

Promptness
Preparedness
Attentiveness
Concentration
Sportsmanship
Positive Energy
Policing the pitch and bench area

In a word, RESPECT.

Unacceptable Behavior

Tardiness or Unexcused Absence
Unprepared physically, mentally, emotionally.
Forgotten equipment
Talking when someone else is talking
Not giving full attention to the practice activity
Negative comments / Negative energy.
Unsporting behavior in the form of intentional and or excessive fouling, language or gestures
Leaving equipment behind
Leaving trash in bench area or on the pitch.

In a word. DISRESPECT


Within the items listed above we find the words Sportsmanship and Unsporting Behavior. These are at the heart of the matter. Sportsmanship is all about interacting with others in a respectful manner.

Respectful Behavior toward coaches,
Respectful Behavior toward teammates
Respectful Behavior toward referees
Respectful Behavior toward opponents
Respectful Behavior toward spectators

Therefore Unsporting Behavior involves interacting with others in an inappropriate or disrespectful manner. 

Now, there are some who will argue team rules must be clearly defined in much more detail than I have in my three rules. They seek to identify examples of Respectful Behavior and contrast them to examples of Unsporting Behavior.  As I stated earlier, there are exceptions to rules and the more rules you have the more exceptions you will encounter. The more narrowly defined rules are the more exceptions you will encounter.

Exceptions to rules lead to problems when meting our discipline or rewards for behavior.

For example, the day before a big match with league title implications your star goalkeeper arrives to practice 14 minutes late. You have defined the penalty for tardiness as having to miss the first half of the next match.  By your rules, your goalkeeper is now unavailable to play in the first half tomorrow placing your team at a serious disadvantage.

You later learn the goalkeeper was tardy because he was performing CPR on a child at the scene of an accident. He saved the child's life.  EXCEPTION to the rule!

But where do you draw the line?  What is an acceptable exception to a rule?  And more importantly is everyone on the team going to be in agreement with your ruling on what is or is not a legitimate exception?  The point being, rules are meant to unify the team in pursuit of a common goal, but when applied (or are perceived to be applied) unequally or inequitably, rules can be a source of conflict, drama, discord and  dissension.

***

I was in the grocery store express lane recently.  One of those with a sign over the cashier's head that states this lane is for customers with less than 12 items.  The ladies in front of me had several items, but that is not what drew my attention to them.  One of the women had a small child sitting in the cart. I'm guessing the child was 3 years of age and she was a bit cranky. The mother spoke to the child in frustrated angry tones. "Stop your *&#*^%* whinning! and Shut the hell up!" The child responded accordingly with more crying and whining which served to further frustrate the mother.  The cycle continued and the negative energy began to spiral.  I could see a butt whupping or worse in the child's future as soon as they were out the door. Perhaps it would wait until they were in their car or even back home, but I don't think it would have ended well. 

FWIW, I spoke to the mother suggesting she change her tone of voice to get the desired result with the child and before she could answer, asked "May I?" as I reached out to the child and picked her up. Instantly the crying and whining stopped as I spoke in a low voice with the child. The exasperated mother finished her transaction, took the child and exited the store. I am hopeful she did not take out her frustrations on the child.

What does this have to do with rules for a soccer team?

It's all about how we interact with others. 

And it starts at the top with the Coach.

The child in the grocery store was responding to her mother in a manner similar to how the mother was addressing her. The situation escalated.  More importantly, the child was learning angry and frustrated communication is acceptable and perhaps sadly, the norm.

If you as a coach yell and scream at players what example does that set in terms of respectful meaningful communication?  

If you as the coach argue with referees in a loud angry voice and with demonstrative body language, what message are you sending your players, their parents and spectators?

Building a respectful team environment begins with the head coach.  If the head coach conducts himself in a respectful manner, his team will fall in line with him.  In essence the head coach defines what is acceptable through his own behavior and his interactions with others. A team's rules find their identification and strength in the head coaches behavior.  I firmly believe why I / my teams have not needed more than 3 rules is because I set the tone.  I set the expectations for what is acceptable behavior (and therefore unacceptable behavior) through my own actions and interactions with others.

I have had young men come to my team with less than stellar reputations. A couple have really tried my patience, but with a strong steadfast and compassionate approach I have never had a situation that could not be dealt with in a positive meaningful way.  And... AND... more often than not any transgressions in terms of player misbehavior have been handled through positive peer pressure. I haven't had to intervene at all.  

I don't know, maybe I and my teams are the exception to the rule (no pun intended), but I have found Be Respectful the only real rule needed.