Whenever our group gathers someone will invariably let go with "I paid my dues!" drawing a round of chuckles from those present. The members of this group played on the same team years ago. We were a better than average team, but not an exceptional one. As can often be the case, the friendships established through competing together against others has lasted through the years. There are many good memories that bind us together. Great plays, championships won and lost. Fellowship before and after games. "I paid my dues!" is the single memory that most resonates with this group.
The team gathered throughout the preseason to work on technique, tactics, conditioning and developing an identity of who we would collectively be on the field of play. We struggled through difficult practices, various bumps bruises and injuries, learning to play together against other teams. Well, most of the team did. There was this one guy who signed up and paid to play, but was largely absent from preseason activities.
On opening night the team was jazzed with nervous energy. We were excited to get the season underway. We were pumped! Ready to go into athletic battle with our buddies and see how we measured up against another team. I mean OPENING NIGHT, right!?
We came out strong and the game was going our way. Everything was clicking and we went up big early. Comfortably in control at the break our coaches were reminding us to stick with the game plan in the second half. We were to treat the second half as if the score were 0-0. Be disciplined and play as we practiced, as we had prepared to play and as we played in the first half. That's when Donny stood up and proclaimed "I paid my dues! I deserve to play too!"
Well, Donny was the guy who skipped practices and other team functions. He missed out on so much preparation to play that I didn't even think of him as a teammate. He was more ... well, in the context of the team ... he just was.
As we prepared to play the second half the coach asked Donny to remain behind. They had a short talk before joining us on the field. About the only thing I remember is Donny looking very angry as we took the field. After we won the game and were coming off the field congratulating one another I do not recall if Donny was present or not. I never saw Donny in the context of the team again. What had been a friendly off-the-field relationship took on a decided chill.
Our coach eventually shared with us what was communicated to Donny at halftime of that first game. The message was an eye opener to me and I think to each of my teammates. After a fast start to the season we had hit a lull. No, not a lull, we were in a prolonged losing streak. This is when Ross, our coach, shared with us the gist of the message he had delivered to Donny.
Donny had paid his money for the right to be a part of our club, our team. This is what Donny meant when he had proclaimed "I paid my dues! I deserve to play!" Coach Ross had a bit different idea about what it meant to pay one's dues. He told Donny he would not give him anything that was not earned, including playing time. To give playing time to anyone who had not earned it through properly preparing to play would be lowering the club and team standards. When Donny had begun to explain he had to work, suffered an injury and had had other commitments, Coach Ross shut him down with a simple "No excuses." Coach went on to point out that even being present at practices was not good enough. There would be no reward for merely participating. Everyone was expected to give a full effort every day. Healthy and active or injured and inactive physically - it did not matter. You need to be attentive and contribute. There was no room on a successful team for laziness or mediocrity in effort given to the team. He ended by telling Donny that he had been disrespectful to him as the coach, his teammates and perhaps most importantly to the opportunity paying his monetary dues had afforded him. Furthermore, by disrupting halftime of a team event with such a display of selfishness he had announced how unappreciative and ungrateful he actually was as it concerned representing the club and the team.
So, while the lasting impression we have of Donny is "I paid my dues!" the lasting lesson Donny contributed to is monetary dues hold little to no value in team sports. The actual dues that matter most in team situations are being present and contributing positively in whatever manner one can. Those were the expectations for our team. Those were standards we set and upheld. No excuses. Just give the best, most intelligent, effort to the team each and every day. Being present is not enough - ask "what can I do for my team" and do it. Even when injured - conduct stretching, practice the team's communication, do rehab work in an effort to return to play or be a cheerleader offering encouragement to your teammates. Be active in the team process. Never take for granted the opportunity to be a part of the team. Pay your (non-monetary) dues!
Welcome to the web home of Conceive Believe Achieve Soccer. We specialize in conducting high school team camps. This website began as a means to promote our camps and keep campers informed of upcoming opportunities. There are now over 650 articles archived here. Use the search function in the right hand column below to find ones on topic for you. You may contact us at coachtjbrown@gmail.com or 567-204-6083 Thanks for visiting!
Showing posts with label opportunity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label opportunity. Show all posts
Saturday
Friday
Why do you pay so much money for your kid to play sports?
I am giving credit for this article to Mark Wolpert of Southhampton, PA. A friend shared it on Facebook and I found it to be a wonderful glimpse into what parents should be thinking about youth sports.
Mark Wolpert
Mark Wolpert
One of my friends asked "Why do you pay so much money for your kids to do all their sports”? Well I have a confession to make; I don't pay for my kids to to do sports. Personally, I couldn't care less about what sport they do.
So, if I am not paying for sports what am I paying for?
- I pay for those moments when my kids become so tired they want to quit but don't.
- I pay for those days when my kids come home from school and are "too tired" to go to their training but they go anyway.
- I pay for my kids to learn to be disciplined, focused and dedicated.
- I pay for my kids to learn to take care of their body and equipment.
- I pay for my kids to learn to work with others and to be good team mates, gracious in defeat and humble in success.
- I pay for my kids to learn to deal with disappointment, when they don't get that placing or title they'd hoped for, but still they go back week after week giving it their best shot.
- I pay for my kids to learn to make and accomplish goals.
- I pay for my kids to respect, not only themselves, but other athletes, officials and coaches.
- I pay for my kids to learn that it takes hours and hours, years and years of hard work and practice to create a champion and that success does not happen overnight.
- I pay for my kids to be proud of small achievements, and to work towards long term goals.
- I pay for the opportunity my kids have and will have to make life-long friendships, create lifelong memories, to be as proud of their achievements as I am.
- I pay so that my kids can be out on the field or in the gym instead of in front of a screen...
...I could go on but, to be short, I don't pay for sports; I pay for the opportunities that sports provides my kids with to develop attributes that will serve them well throughout their lives and give them the opportunity to bless the lives of others. From what I have seen so far I think it is a great investment!
Thursday
Being fair.
There invariably comes a time each season when a player will have a conflict with the soccer schedule and some other aspect of his life. This is true in both club and high school soccer. As a young soccer coach, having a player miss practice time or a match to attend some other activity was very frustrating for me. Not only that, when such an incident would happen it created some very difficult situations to deal with. I have very specific rules for what is to be considered an excused or unexcused absence. In either case, the athlete risks losing his starting or rotational position.
I freely acknowledge that parents loath this stance I take in regards to absences. Each year I seem to have a discussion with parents of a player who will miss practice and or games about losing their place in the lineup or rotation. The parents invariably feel I am punishing the player for attending the non-soccer activity. A few years ago a parent went so far as to suggest I was being vindictive for the player being disloyal to the soccer team. This is absolutely untrue! Unfortunately the emotional level was heated and the parent did not want to listen to the rest of the story. It wasn't for almost two weeks later until I had the opportunity to fully explain the TEAM perspective of the players absence.
Yes, players do lose their starting spots and or rotational position when they choose another activity over soccer. However, this is not a punishment levied against them for having done so. Absolutely not! Someone has to move into the starting lineup or rotational position in the absence of the player. In fact, if a non-starter rotational player becomes the starter, this then creates an opening for a new player to enter the playing rotation, does it not? Someone(s) is going to take the minutes of the missing player.
I consider the new starter to be receiving a reward for being present. I consider the new player entering the rotation to being rewarded with an opportunity to make his mark.
The player who chose to miss time with the soccer team should hold no expectation whatsoever that his place will be held for him. If the replacement player performs well, he will continue to enjoy the rewards of both his effort and loyalty to the team. The player who missed time will be provided every opportunity to regain a starting position or a position in the rotation, but he will not be given anything including the spot in the lineup or rotation he voluntarily relinquished.
When a player and or parent complain it's not fair for the player to lose his spot for missing soccer activities, I ask if it is fair for the player who assumed the missing players role to lose his new spot in light of his being present to seize the opportunity?
It is all about being fair.
Only too often fairness is only considered from one side while other perspectives are not considered or are ignored.
I freely acknowledge that parents loath this stance I take in regards to absences. Each year I seem to have a discussion with parents of a player who will miss practice and or games about losing their place in the lineup or rotation. The parents invariably feel I am punishing the player for attending the non-soccer activity. A few years ago a parent went so far as to suggest I was being vindictive for the player being disloyal to the soccer team. This is absolutely untrue! Unfortunately the emotional level was heated and the parent did not want to listen to the rest of the story. It wasn't for almost two weeks later until I had the opportunity to fully explain the TEAM perspective of the players absence.
Yes, players do lose their starting spots and or rotational position when they choose another activity over soccer. However, this is not a punishment levied against them for having done so. Absolutely not! Someone has to move into the starting lineup or rotational position in the absence of the player. In fact, if a non-starter rotational player becomes the starter, this then creates an opening for a new player to enter the playing rotation, does it not? Someone(s) is going to take the minutes of the missing player.
I consider the new starter to be receiving a reward for being present. I consider the new player entering the rotation to being rewarded with an opportunity to make his mark.
The player who chose to miss time with the soccer team should hold no expectation whatsoever that his place will be held for him. If the replacement player performs well, he will continue to enjoy the rewards of both his effort and loyalty to the team. The player who missed time will be provided every opportunity to regain a starting position or a position in the rotation, but he will not be given anything including the spot in the lineup or rotation he voluntarily relinquished.
When a player and or parent complain it's not fair for the player to lose his spot for missing soccer activities, I ask if it is fair for the player who assumed the missing players role to lose his new spot in light of his being present to seize the opportunity?
It is all about being fair.
Only too often fairness is only considered from one side while other perspectives are not considered or are ignored.
Friday
S.O.C.C.E.R.
From the Mission Statement page of the coaching manual I wrote for SYSA / SSS.
Sportsmanship
Opportunity
Competence
Challenge
Enjoyment
Resources
Sportsmanship
Opportunity
Competence
Challenge
Enjoyment
Resources
Monday
Yelling at players during games.
I have written on this subject before, but was asked to do so again. Hey, I like to honor all reasonable requests!
With it being the middle of winter I am largely limited to watching basketball to feed my sports addiction. I need not your sympathy for basketball was my first love and remains dear to my heart. At a recent high school basketball game I observed a coach berate a player for a mistake made and mumbled under my breathe that he was wrong for doing so. I was overheard by someone sitting near by and an impromptu discussion on the subject of yelling at players took place and led to the request to once againshare my thoughts on the subject. I've decided to do in bullet point style this time.
* No one is perfect. Everyone makes a plethora of mistakes each day. It's how we handle them that matters most.
* In an athletic contest, chances are pretty good the person who just made a mistake realizes it without you having to point it out to them.
* Yelling at or chastising a player for making a mistake is in and of itself a mistake as it continues a chain of negativity. And it can be particularly demoralizing if done in front of the team - the players teammates, peers and friends.
* No use dwelling on or belaboring a mistake. Put it behind you immediately and continue playing the game. Break the chain of negativity immediately and move on to the Next Play!
* This is the biggie insofar as coaching is concerned; if a player or team is not performing as you wish them to it is because you failed to properly prepare them to do so. Do not yell at players because you failed them - that makes no sense at all and only serves to make you look like a fool.
Obstacles or opportunities? Mistakes will happen. The quality of life, the quality of performance in an athletic contest, will be determined by how you handle mistakes. If we treat a mistake as an obstacle to our success that is exactly what it will become. If we approach each mistake, each failure, as an opportunity to learn our path to success will be shortened.
Do not yell or scream at players for mistakes made. Teach from mistakes.
With it being the middle of winter I am largely limited to watching basketball to feed my sports addiction. I need not your sympathy for basketball was my first love and remains dear to my heart. At a recent high school basketball game I observed a coach berate a player for a mistake made and mumbled under my breathe that he was wrong for doing so. I was overheard by someone sitting near by and an impromptu discussion on the subject of yelling at players took place and led to the request to once againshare my thoughts on the subject. I've decided to do in bullet point style this time.
* No one is perfect. Everyone makes a plethora of mistakes each day. It's how we handle them that matters most.
* In an athletic contest, chances are pretty good the person who just made a mistake realizes it without you having to point it out to them.
* Yelling at or chastising a player for making a mistake is in and of itself a mistake as it continues a chain of negativity. And it can be particularly demoralizing if done in front of the team - the players teammates, peers and friends.
* No use dwelling on or belaboring a mistake. Put it behind you immediately and continue playing the game. Break the chain of negativity immediately and move on to the Next Play!
* This is the biggie insofar as coaching is concerned; if a player or team is not performing as you wish them to it is because you failed to properly prepare them to do so. Do not yell at players because you failed them - that makes no sense at all and only serves to make you look like a fool.
Obstacles or opportunities? Mistakes will happen. The quality of life, the quality of performance in an athletic contest, will be determined by how you handle mistakes. If we treat a mistake as an obstacle to our success that is exactly what it will become. If we approach each mistake, each failure, as an opportunity to learn our path to success will be shortened.
Do not yell or scream at players for mistakes made. Teach from mistakes.
Pessimists and Optimists ... as coaches
I was talking with a young man today about his senior year soccer experiences and in the spirit of our Soccer Memories feature I asked him what his lasting memory of this season would be?
"That I never got a chance."
Now, I felt I had really stuck my foot in my mouth having asked this question of him. Before I had a chance to extricate my proverbial appendage from my oral orifice the young man went on to state his belief his coaches only focused on what he could not do and neglected the things he did do well that could have helped the team. "But it wasn't just me. They treated most of us that way. They were all rah rah in pumping us up, but it was all a show. They were fake optimists but really pessimists."
Out of the mouth of babes...
Long time readers of this blog know I love to channel my inner Jimmy Buffett and look at things from different points of view. It's a great way to learn, imo. Here was a golden opportunity dropped right in my lap.
I learned long ago the value of looking at the positives a player can bring to a team. It's not that weaknesses should be ignored, but more so that positives or strengths should be accentuated.
I remember another young man who made a varsity basketball team despite having only one real skill - he could shoot and make the outside shot. He was out of shape and too slow a foot to be much use as a defender. He did not handle ball well at all. He wasn't a very good passer either, but he could shoot from the perimeter. In complete honesty I figured the kid would never get off the bench even in "scrub time" as we called it back in the day.
Then there we were playing against a team who threw a triangle and two defense at us. The played man on our two best players and a triangle zone around the lane. Enter the shooter. Seven straight 3 point shots made from the corners. Gimmick defense destroyed and ball game won.
While I had never thought of coaches in terms of optimists and pessimists I can acknowledge this perspective or point of view as being very valid. In speaking with the young man today my thoughts went immediately to his strengths as a soccer player - passion, vision, a decent skill set. These were indeed overshadowed by what could only be described as an unorthodox athletic style of playing - the guy is all arms and legs that flail in multiple directions at once making his nickname of Gumby somehow appropriate. He just doesn't look the part on the field... much as the basketball player I referenced earlier did not look the part.
I firmly believe once a coach decides to keep a player on the team, the coach accepts a responsibility to promote that athlete, to accentuate and incorporate that players strengths into the teams philosophy and system of play. Obviously Gumby felt betrayed by the coaching staff. He did not understand why he was kept on the team if he would never be given the chance to show what he could do. The coaching staff obviously took a very pessimistic view of a player they decided to keep on the roster. That really is not fair to anyone involved.
I would think any compassionate coach would not want a players lasting impression of his senior year of high school soccer to be "that I never got a chance" or "I'm just glad it's over" as another player recently proclaimed to me. Something is seriously amiss when the lasting impressions of a senior year of high school soccer is so negative, so pessimistic.
To paraphrase Julius from Remember the Titans, "Attitude reflects leadership, coach"
This brings us to a point of this writing. The player / coach relationship is the cornerstone of successful teams. In Gumby's situation the coach quite obviously failed to provide optimistic or positive leadership in dealing with Gumby. The message Gumby received was one of constant negativity. A constantly and consistently pessimistic message from the coach to a player.
Coach, any seed of negativity left unattended will result in decay of the teams chemistry.
And do not underestimate your players. They can spot a fake from the length of the pitch. Disingenuous actions and words are received as such. If you play favorites, you will lose those players not counted among your favorites as they will perceive that no matter what they do it will never be enough to raise themselves to "favorite" status.
From this perspective it is easily understood why the best coaches either have a team of favorites or a team with no favorites at all. The really good coaches treat everyone equally and fairly if not exactly alike. Again from Remember the Titans Coach Boone says, "Now I may be a mean cuss. But I'm the same mean cuss with everybody out there on that ... field" And that's the way it should be. If you keep a player on your team it is your responsibility, your duty to that player, to promote him and build him up. You utilize his strengths to the benefit of the team or you risk being responsible for a cancerous growth that will hold your team back or even ruin a season... not just for the affected player, but for everyone.
"That I never got a chance."
Now, I felt I had really stuck my foot in my mouth having asked this question of him. Before I had a chance to extricate my proverbial appendage from my oral orifice the young man went on to state his belief his coaches only focused on what he could not do and neglected the things he did do well that could have helped the team. "But it wasn't just me. They treated most of us that way. They were all rah rah in pumping us up, but it was all a show. They were fake optimists but really pessimists."
Out of the mouth of babes...
Long time readers of this blog know I love to channel my inner Jimmy Buffett and look at things from different points of view. It's a great way to learn, imo. Here was a golden opportunity dropped right in my lap.
I learned long ago the value of looking at the positives a player can bring to a team. It's not that weaknesses should be ignored, but more so that positives or strengths should be accentuated.
I remember another young man who made a varsity basketball team despite having only one real skill - he could shoot and make the outside shot. He was out of shape and too slow a foot to be much use as a defender. He did not handle ball well at all. He wasn't a very good passer either, but he could shoot from the perimeter. In complete honesty I figured the kid would never get off the bench even in "scrub time" as we called it back in the day.
Then there we were playing against a team who threw a triangle and two defense at us. The played man on our two best players and a triangle zone around the lane. Enter the shooter. Seven straight 3 point shots made from the corners. Gimmick defense destroyed and ball game won.
While I had never thought of coaches in terms of optimists and pessimists I can acknowledge this perspective or point of view as being very valid. In speaking with the young man today my thoughts went immediately to his strengths as a soccer player - passion, vision, a decent skill set. These were indeed overshadowed by what could only be described as an unorthodox athletic style of playing - the guy is all arms and legs that flail in multiple directions at once making his nickname of Gumby somehow appropriate. He just doesn't look the part on the field... much as the basketball player I referenced earlier did not look the part.
I firmly believe once a coach decides to keep a player on the team, the coach accepts a responsibility to promote that athlete, to accentuate and incorporate that players strengths into the teams philosophy and system of play. Obviously Gumby felt betrayed by the coaching staff. He did not understand why he was kept on the team if he would never be given the chance to show what he could do. The coaching staff obviously took a very pessimistic view of a player they decided to keep on the roster. That really is not fair to anyone involved.
I would think any compassionate coach would not want a players lasting impression of his senior year of high school soccer to be "that I never got a chance" or "I'm just glad it's over" as another player recently proclaimed to me. Something is seriously amiss when the lasting impressions of a senior year of high school soccer is so negative, so pessimistic.
To paraphrase Julius from Remember the Titans, "Attitude reflects leadership, coach"
This brings us to a point of this writing. The player / coach relationship is the cornerstone of successful teams. In Gumby's situation the coach quite obviously failed to provide optimistic or positive leadership in dealing with Gumby. The message Gumby received was one of constant negativity. A constantly and consistently pessimistic message from the coach to a player.
Coach, any seed of negativity left unattended will result in decay of the teams chemistry.
And do not underestimate your players. They can spot a fake from the length of the pitch. Disingenuous actions and words are received as such. If you play favorites, you will lose those players not counted among your favorites as they will perceive that no matter what they do it will never be enough to raise themselves to "favorite" status.
From this perspective it is easily understood why the best coaches either have a team of favorites or a team with no favorites at all. The really good coaches treat everyone equally and fairly if not exactly alike. Again from Remember the Titans Coach Boone says, "Now I may be a mean cuss. But I'm the same mean cuss with everybody out there on that ... field" And that's the way it should be. If you keep a player on your team it is your responsibility, your duty to that player, to promote him and build him up. You utilize his strengths to the benefit of the team or you risk being responsible for a cancerous growth that will hold your team back or even ruin a season... not just for the affected player, but for everyone.
Friday
Opportunity follows struggle.
It follows effort.
It follows hard work.
It doesn't come before.
Sunday
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)