For the Good of the TEAM.

Much has been written of TEAM chemistry.  In recent years a cottage industry has arisen to help coaches address team bonding. The market is seemingly flooded with books, videos, webinars and seminars devoted to promoting effective TEAM leadership through education and TEAM bonding exercises. Almost all of this information is directed at players. 

What about coaches?



In the not so distant past I heard a coach state, "I hate that kid."  One might think this was a heat of the moment utterance, but it was not. Nor was it a single occurrence. I heard that coach utter this sentiment a handful of times on different occasions.  I have also heard him give the old "I don't care if you like one another or not, but you will respect one another" speech to his team.

What about you coach?

First of all, why did you accept this player to the TEAM if you dislike him so much you state your hatred of him repeatedly in public?  The obvious answer is, the kid is talented.  Once the coach accepts the player onto the TEAM showing respect to the player isn't an option, it is a duty, responsibility and obligation.  That is what he has preached to the TEAM after all.

That is what should happen.

Any relationship takes work to make it successful.  Coaches must practice what they preach. In the situation referenced here the coach played the player out of position and not for the benefit of the team, but for his own personal dislike of the player. The player went along with the coach's decision because, well, what other choice aside from quitting did he have?  It turned into a simmering season long adversarial and confrontational relationship.

Hey, we see this type of relationship in the professional ranks of sports all the time.  Players are cut, waived, released, traded or not signed because the coach doesn't like the player. The player goes elsewhere and has a productive career.  The same holds true in the college ranks where players transfer from one school to another for a variety of reasons including poor fits with the coaching staff.  At the high school and club levels, transfers come with steep penalties these days.  There are no red-shirt years in high school. If you transfer, you lose a portion of your eligibility. In club soccer, once you sign a player card associating you with a particular team it can be extremely difficult to gain a release until the end of the club year.

We would like to think coaches are above and beyond allowing personal feelings to influence the treatment of individual players. We would like to think coaches place the TEAM above any personal differences with a player.  We know coaches are human and therefore don't always behave as they should. Let's be honest, some coaches power trip over being in control of a group of individuals. They find it difficult to swallow their own pride and do what is best for the TEAM.  The situation, allowed to fester by a selfish and disrespectful coach, can boil over and ruin the season for all involved.  The TEAM suffers.

So, coaches, remember that you are indeed a role model for the players you coach.  You will receive back the same proportion of respect as you give to your players.  Scratch that.  You will receive back the same proportion of respect as the least amount of respect you show to a player on your team.  Players see how you interact with others.  If you disrespect a teammate because of personal dislike, the players will know.  You will have sabotaged your own team by forcing individuals to choose sides between you and the player.   You will lose the team, the season and respect.  I have seen it happen and no one walks away happy.