It's part of coaching

We often speak of athletes learning life lessons through their participation in team sports.  Coaches learn life lessons through heir participation in team sports as well.  One of the most important lessons sports has taught me is the necessity to develop, establish and maintain healthy working relationships.
I put a lot of time and effort into developing working relationships with everyone remotely connected to the program.  My athletic director and his administrative assistant. The boosters organization. Surely our players and coaches. The parents as well.

Now, with parents I tend to keep them at arms length as it concerns team selection, positions, playing time and the like. On the other hand, I desire and need parental support for a healthy program. I rely on parents for everything from fundraising to furnishing team meals.

Players get suspended or cut from the team and coaches lose their jobs often due to poor relationships and ineffective communication.  Communication is a shared responsibility.  That is, it takes a minimum of two to hold a conversation unless one is talking to one's self. LOL. This is another lesson I have learned - if people choose not to respond to your efforts to include them in your program, repeating those efforts ad nauseum is simply a waste of time.

I have a three strike rule.  If I ask you three times for your input or help and you choose not to respond, I move on.  This happens mostly with parents of student athletes in my current position. A sad commentary on our society in general.  Please do not misunderstand, I do indeed enjoy tremendous support from many parents. The vast majority jump in and help in whatever way is needed and I am genuinely appreciative for their involvement. It is a small minority that decide not to respond, not to work on establishing, developing and maintaining a working relationship in teh best interests of their child.

Being a responsible decision maker is also something sports teach us. Not every decision we make is cut and dried. I often seek input from every source imaginable when faced with a tough decision. I also give difficult decisions a lot of  prayerful consideration.  In the end, as a head coach it's still my decision. I live with both the rewards and consequences of those decisions. I firmly believe it important everyone involved with the program knows I take making these decisions very seriously and own up to them regardless of how they turn out. It's a matter of trust and respect.

Trust is the glue of life, the single most essential ingredient in effective communication.  If I do not own my decisions, why should anyone trust me?  Trust is the foundational principle that holds all relationships together.  Disagreements are a part of life, its how we handle disagreements that matter more than the disagreement itself.  Adversity is a part of life and athletics. It is a given, individuals and the team will encounter adversity at times. The adversity is not as important as how the adversity is handled. Being able to trust those you face adversity with is critical to success in overcoming the obstacle. Successfully overcoming adversity or an obstacle with others is how respect is earned ... and given.  Without respectful working relationships not only is trust absent but the prospects of success are greatly diminished.

We ARE all in this together, correct?