An open letter ....

Ravens Devastated By Tray Walker Accident; Harbs Sends Heartfelt Letter To Team

Edit: Tray Walker died hours after Coach Harbaugh wrote this open letter to his team.

Tray Walker, the fourth-round cornerback we drafted last April, is fighting for his life in Miami’s Jackson Memorial Hospital this afternoon. Tray was seriously injured last night when, riding a motorbike, he collided with an SUV.

This is devastating news to all of us. So young and with such promise, Tray is in all of our thoughts and prayers. His circumstance is critical.

Like a lot of his teammates and other members of the Ravens, John Harbaugh is struggling with all of this. He couldn’t sleep, and this morning he wrote a heartfelt, passionate letter to the Ravens’ players. I asked Coach if we could share his letter with all of you. Here it is:


An Open Letter to Our Team

Men,

Right now, this moment is an incredibly difficult time for our Team and our Family. One of our Brothers, Tray Walker, is fighting for his life. I know we are showering him, and covering he and his family, with Prayer and hope.

That was the kind of phone call you never want get as a coach, as a parent, as a brother, as a friend. This shook me and all of us. Like some of you, I haven’t been able to rest since hearing the news late last night.

As I focused about Tray this morning, some thoughts came to mind that I wanted to share. What would I say to my own son, if I had a son, in a situation like this? You guys are that important to me.

This is what I would be saying to you in the team meeting room if we were together today: There is a lot going on out there and you are going to be involved in tough and difficult situations. You are making and will continue to make important choices pretty much every day. That’s okay. That’s our reality. It can even be very good to be put in different circumstances. To make it right, you are going to have to grow up fast. Probably faster than many of your friends and family.

Please remember to…

Lead in your home. Take care of Your Family and Yourself every single day. Think about who you are and where you are going, and what you stand for. Look after one another. Only then can you be your most effective on the job and in every area of your life.

Please consider your actions and choices. There are always consequences. Choose who you allow to advise you. Consider the quality of the council you take. Put yourself in positions to succeed. Turn away from unnecessary and risky behavior. Take care of your physical well-being. Live a healthy lifestyle. Pursue those things that make you better. Rest well. Eat well. Laugh with those who you love and love you. Fulfill your obligations effectively.

Be your own best friend. Do not be an enemy onto yourself. Turn away from trouble and harm. Walk away from foolish behavior. Ignore silly and unwise advice – You’ll know it when you see it.

Get to know those people in your life who manage to walk free from the weight of self-created obstacles. Get close to those who have gone where you want to go, and have accomplished what you want to accomplish. Grow Spiritually. Think about what and who you want to become.

I am asking you to consider what is at stake in your life. Consider what your thoughts, actions and choices mean to those around you. Live your life fully and with purpose. Have fun and share your happiness. Find Your Faith, and allow God to Grow Your Faith.

Let’s look out for one another. Be a great brother and friend. Inquire. Listen. Ask. Investigate. Reach out. Be There. Take a Step. Go For It.

Remember, We are Brothers in Arms. And, again, take care of each other.

John

The Currency of Success is Appreciation

I have been strolling down memory lane of late reminiscing about past glory of teams I have been associated with seeking the common threads.  Several words have come to mind including leadership, resiliency, work ethic... and appreciation. It seems to me I always felt appreciated on the best of those teams. Be it the 4th grade undefeated Parkmore Tigers or the St Matthew men's softball team or the Grand Lake United U19 team... I have always felt appreciated for the contributions I made to the teams success.

I have, of course, also remembered the talented teams that underachieved and found appreciation was almost always lacking on those teams. There was the basketball team that seemingly had everything - great size, speed, skill - yet struggled to a .500 record.  A softball team as talented as any I have ever played on that failed to win the league and was routinely bounced from tournaments early. The soccer team with mediocre success despite an abundance of individual talent. On these teams I often felt like a piece of meat, a number on the roster, someone to round out a line up. Underappreciated and longing for a word of acknowledgement for the contributions I had made to the team effort.

I recall that when participating on those underachieving teams I made a point of acknowledging the efforts of others because of the lack of appreciation I felt for the contributions I made.  That's me. However, I am not a saint. I also recall how I focused on individual accomplishments when a team was not performing to potential.  I wanted to lead the team in doubles, or to lead the team in scoring irregardless of the teams success. A selfish attitude for sure, but if my teammates or coaches did not appreciate me I could at least appreciate myself.

It occurs to me that successful teams celebrate one another's individual successes as contributions, big and small alike, to the teams efforts.  In fast pitch softball it might be the laying down of a bunt, a sacrifice. In basketball or soccer, making an extra pass to a teammate who has a better scoring opportunity than you do, an assist. I have myself described this as playing for one another. 

In softball after failing to get a hit with runners in scoring position we would often ask the next batter to "pick me up" and when they came through would always thank them for having done so. In basketball taking a help side charge or coming from across the lane to block a shot were having a teammates back. We were there for one another and not concerned with who got credit for a job well done because we lavished praise upon one another in celebrating our success.

I think the most important contribution any of us can make is to be appreciative of those around us and the contributions they make to our team, our lives and the success we find in these. I was on the right track as a player, but did not persevere to see it through and change the culture on those underachieving teams. I don't know if I could have been successful or not... and that's a regret. I regret surrendering myself to a negative team culture when I knew better.

This is not to say we should never be critical of one another, but the appreciation we show of and for one another must be dominant over any negativity shown to one another. The "Oreo" or "sandwich" approach to coaching.  Before criticizing a player, find a positive in his play. Then address the issue at hand before concluding with another word of praise. Let that player know you care not just about his play, but about him as a person.  Let him know you value his contributions. Praise his efforts. In return that player will redouble his efforts for the team.

Both positive culture and negative culture are contagious. Breed a culture of positive re-enforcement with the recognition that the choice is yours to make. Praise the players, your teammates, their efforts much more than you criticize them. Be patient through mistakes understanding they are opportunities to learn.  Teach in a calm enabling manner instead of being critical and condescending.  Bring out the best in one another by telling each other frequently how much you appreciate efforts on behalf of the team.  When you score a goal, go find the person who assisted immediately and thank him for the great pass. Celebrate the accomplishment together.  When the goalkeeper makes a great save, let him know as soon as possible what a great play he made... and thank him for doing so, for having your back, for picking you up.

Appreciation, the currency of success. How rich in appreciation is your team?

New Series - Soccer Memories.

We will be beginning a new series of articles titled Soccer Memories.  I got the idea for this while driving home from Indiana last night.  The conversation centered around my son Lance's memories from playing soccer over the years.  This was prompted by Lance having recently played his last game of high school soccer.

Our stroll down memory lane encompassed everything from U6 recreational soccer in the West Central Ohio Soccer Association through club soccer in Miami Valley Youth Soccer Association and Buckeye Premier League, indoor soccer, guest playing for teams from as far away as Pittsburgh, Pa., high school and Olympic Development Program.   Lot's of good times. Seemingly countless new friends made. 

The amazing thing every single memory shared during that hour drive was a positive one.

Sure, we have had some bad experiences along the way. Inept coaches, poor referees, thug players, terrible pitches, playing in inclement weather, death of an assistant coach just to name a few. None of those were mentioned. 

Just the good times.

Teammates, great plays, big matches, travel, hotels, meals with teammates and their families. Swim parties and impromptu lacrosse matches with butterfly nets.  Soccer volleyball, burglars, bogies on our tails and picnics.

So, I have asked several people to share their memories with us.  If you want in on the fun, send your memories to tbrown@wcoil.com and I will share them with our readers.

I will get the party started in the next day or so,

As always, thanks for reading!

Tim

Play for the child you were when you fell in love with the game.

Somewhere in your past

 

Behind the hours you have invested

 

With the memories of the coaches who pushed you

 

There is a young boy

 

Who fell in love with the game

 

And has never looked back.

 

 

Play for him.

 

 

 

Why I Coach.

For the vast majority of us there isn't a lot of money to be made in coaching.  I remember keeping track of hours spent in coaching high school one season and the amount I was paid only to discover I was working for less than a nickle an hour.

So, why do I coach?

I love to teach. I find it rewarding to see players develop and improve not only in their sport but as people. It is gratifying to think I had a role in their growth. My youngest child is now a junior in high school and has been playing soccer since the age of five.  I've been there every step of the way as his father and soccer coach. We have both made many great friends along the way and it is pure pleasure to see them on the soccer pitch.

Last night my son Lance played in a high school match against some of his friends from club teams past and present. It was wonderful to see Nate Falk, Patrizio Martinez, Austin Quellhorst, Kaleb Fenwick-Miller, Joe Poeppleman, Matt Dine and Zac Nelson on one side and Lance, Tanner Mayer, Adam Knott, Jonathon Andrews, Matt Dailey and Garrett Moots on the other team.  All presnt or past club teammates, friends and friendly rivals brought together through the sport of soccer. This is what it's all about.

I started with most of these kids when they were around the age of nine and now they are 16 & 17 year olds representing their high school and their communities against one another but also in support of one another. My wife and I consider them all and their parents / siblings as part of our soccer family. We look forward to seeing them and share their emotions. My wife is always rather conflicted when our club team is represented by both teams on the pitch. She wants to see everyone do well and feels elation with a good play by one and concern for a poor play by opponent / friend. 

I had a wonderful start to my day when I received a message from Judy, the mother of a player on the opposing team last night. Judy and her family are members of our soccer family who were representing the opposing school last night. The message read in part, "I will say, it doesn't matter who the players have later on in their years, it is definitely the coach that has them first and builds the basics and knowledge in their head that makes these players the good players later on!  Of course, a good coach to enhance their knowledge later on doesn't hurt, but geee who could that first coach have been for a quarter of our team?!  We sing your praises Tim to all we meet!  Thank You!

That right there (and the handshake, hugs and chats with players after the game) is worth more than money to me. It is why I coach.  Thank you, Judy!

I have received many such communications through the years. They strangely seem to arrive at just the right times. Pick me ups when the grind of a season is upon us. After the season notes that re-energize me to gear up for another season. This mornings message arrived with impeccable timing.  If you are a player or parent of a player, take a moment to send a text, email, tweet with a word of thanks and appreciation to your coach. It will mean so much to them,

In the grand spirit of the soccer.

Tim