Communication and Relationships - The Art and Science of Coaching

Back in my college days I took a couple of courses on coaching.  The "professors" were basketball and football coaches.  Both courses were largely anecdotal with a fair smattering of logistical considerations thrown in. I'm not sure how much I actually learned about coaching, but they were fun classes.

Soccer is one sport that actually promotes coaching education through the USSF and NSCAA as well as a few smaller organizations.  Even so, many people in our area are given a whistle, clipboard and roster of players then declared a coach as is the standard in most sports.

Even within the soccer family the quality of education provided and required is a bit murky.  The USSF largely tests ones knowledge to an extent if you do not know what you are doing the only real benefit to be gained from some of their courses is the re-verse engineering of them so that you might pass on your second try.  The NSCAA does a much better job of teaching the art and science of coaching but in no way, shape or form provides an extensively inclusive education.

While the two organizations are friendly rivals competing for your dollars they are also complimentary in the sense many coaches take the NSCAA courses as preparatory work for the USSF courses.  For all I know, the two organizations may be in cahoots with one another?

The fact remains, if you wish to coach at the upper levels of the game - college or professional - one must have passed the USSF "A" licensure course or a foreign equivalent.  There is not another major sport that requires such a license to coach.  In sports like baseball, football, basketball and hockey the "license" a coach obtains is from experience and success.  If your teams are successful, your experience as their coach is deemed proof of your ability to coach.

That leaves many people to stumble upon the art and sciences of coaching. Playing experience becomes a factor, but the most important aspect of learning to coach will be those you learn the game from - your coaching mentors.  When it comes to soccer, for me this is Graham Ramsay and Ken White.  I learned the "do's" of coaching from these gentlemen.  I have learned what not to do from the school of hard knocks - my own mistakes and those of people who have coached me or my sons. 

Becoming a student of the game is something I have written often about, but as I type today I think a better description of that process would to become a student of coaching and a student of the game. Even in this context the single most important thing to recognize is the relationship aspect of coaching.  Building the coach / player relationship is the very foundation of coaching. 

Over the years I have certainly learned more about soccer.  I know far more about each component of the game - technique, tactics, physical and psychological - then I ever dreamed existed when I started out as coach of an undefeated U6 team 20+ years ago.  I've learned even more about relationships - how to build and maintain them - and this has been the enduring life lesson soccer has taught me. 

It's not all been positive though.  I recently wrote a letter of recommendation for a coaching candidate and closed it by offering the highest form of endorsement I have - I would not only allow, but welcome the opportunity for my children to play for the candidate.  There are very few people who receive that endorsement from me.  For example, my wife and I allowed our sons to play for the local high school coaches even though we did not welcome their opportunity to do so with open arms.  We recognized the coaches as trustworthy men even if we did not always appreciate or respect their coaching methodology. More specifically we did not appreciate the lack of quality in the coach / player relationships.

Going through the college selection and recruiting process with your youngest son the considerations are finding a school Lance likes that offers the degree he seeks and has a coaching staff he connects with.  Trust me, that is a tall order.  Lots of good schools. Many offer the course of study he wants to pursue. Several have soccer programs with coaches who are expressing interest. Do any of them meet his expectations in all three areas?

As I contemplate this, I cannot help but wonder how many parents approach youth soccer or youth sports in general in this manner?  I know there were youth coaches I did not want anywhere near my sons.  We either avoided them or in the one instance with Lance we pulled him out of the program to avoid his exposure to her "coaching."

I know there are some who do not wish to play for me.  I understand that.  With me, I do not play favorites. You might believe you are the best player around, but if you expect special considerations you might as well go elsewhere.   Not happening in my program.   A classic example of this was a player named Kelly.  Kelly and her parents had the perception she was the best player the program had ever produced and somehow based this and her value / worth as a player on Kelly scoring a great preponderance of the teams goals.  When I introduced a system of play with balanced scoring, they thought Kelly's soccer playing world had come to an end even as the program enjoyed its most successful seasons ever on the field.  I understood this even as I never understood this.

We are speaking to the "art" of coaching in the sense that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Kelly and her parents never really challenged the science behind my coaching.  They readily admitted that I knew the game as well as anyone they had encountered, they just didn't appreciate how I applied that  knowledge when it came to Kelly.  Their contention was I held Kelly back even as the team was wildly successful.  The disconnect was on a relationship level. 

The art and science of coaching are tied together by the relationship bond between coach and players.  Sometimes I feel salesmanship is one of the most important aspects of coaching. Being able to sell players (and their families) on the programs goals and ideals is crucial to achieving "buy-in" which in turn is the single most important determining factor in a teams success.  Of course, we are talking about communication.  The players, the team must be receptive to what the coach is selling and effective communication is the cornerstone for success in this area.

If a team does not buy into the coach's program -  his formation and system of play, his expectations for standard of conduct -  it's going to be a long season marked by underachievement and discontent... even if the team happens to be winning.  A team that buys-in tends to be a happy team even when the on-field results are not as good as they might be.  The perception that they are improving each time they step on the field, that the process is working, can cover for a lot of disappointment and frustration. Again, we address not only the art and science of coaching but the importance of building relationships.  Coach / player relationships.  Effective communication. 

What about player / player relationships?  Team Chemistry.  Team Bonding.  This too is very important and within the purview of the coach.  It's not about fostering an environment in which everyone loves one another. Its all about building trust and respect within the team setting.  It's all about individuals being able to effectively communicate with one another and trust what is being communicated to each other.

Relationships. 

Trust is the glue of life, the most essential ingredient in effective communication. Trust is the foundational principle that holds all relationships together.  The beauty of art will always be in the eyes of the beholder and the science of the game will always hold certain truths therefore the difference maker from a coaching perspective is found in relationships.  Coach / player and player / player relationships.  Effective Communication.  Trust and Respect.