Bullying in sports

Bullying in sports happens.

Hazing is likely one of the first things that comes to mind when the topic bullying in sports is introduced. Despite laws being passed, hazing still occurs, but it is not the only form of bullying that occurs in sports. Far from it. I do not possess the expertise to delve clinically into why bullying in sports happens. That said, I will offer my thoughts on this based on personal experience and observations as I provide examples of bullying in sports. And this might come as a surprise but I will also raise the proposition that bullying in the context of sports might have or might of had a beneficial purpose.  So, let's get started.

For our purposes we will define bullying in sports as the physical or verbal abuse, intimidation, humiliation or threats practiced by individuals or groups in order to exert some amount of influence and power over others. These actions can be acute and overt therefore appearing extreme in nature or can be covert taking place subtly and over a longer period of time.

Hazing has taken on an evil connotation in recent years, but can actually be a productive means of acclimating new team members into the culture of a program.  Forcing the rookies to pick up equipment, get water for the team and carry the seniors bags or sing a song in front of the team are all rather benign and harmless ways of initiating players into the team setting. It's bullying because these are tasks the newbies probably do not want to do, but are forced to do because of their status on the team.  Placing icy hot in someone's underwear, taping someone naked to a goal post or the introduction of alcohol to the proceedings are also examples of hazing and the reason we now have laws against it.

So,  I believe bullying in team sports can be classified into two general categories; acclimating individuals socially into the program or intimidatingly establishing a pecking order on the "team". In today's politically correct society any form of bullying is likely to be frowned upon. I'm not here to debate you on that matter.  Rather I would like to explore the effect bullying can have on your program, the team and individual players.

I once coached in a program considered to be among the best in the region. The teams that program produced won a lot year in and year out. It produced all-state players and many went on to play in college. Then the program began to slide and fell on some hard times. Why?  Bullying.

I will point out one case that demonstrates the point.  "Travis" was not a great physical athlete but he was a very smart one. As captain of the JV team he was a tireless work and often pushed his teammates further physically than they thought they could go in training. Travis demanded nothing of his teammates that he himself did not give.  Travis gave a lot though.  He was one of the up and coming stars of a very strong JV team. Travis was called up to varsity late in the season and played in the teams tournament run to a District championship.

The bullying had begun while he led the JV team. A parent of another player felt Travis blocked or threatened her son's advancement to the varsity. Mary rode Travis unmercifully from the stands. Derogatory and offensive comments directed toward Travis that were in extremely poor taste and abusive.  The head coach of the program at the time chose to ignore this behavior. In doing so, he condoned it. And people noticed.

Throughout the next off season, Patrick and a group of friends harassed and bullied Travis to the point that Travis decided it wasn't worth it. The head coach and JV coach met with Travis to convince him he was a valued member of the team and would play a strong role on the field. Their words were not supported by their (in)actions however and the bullies won. They opened a spot on the roster and a role on the team for a friend. This was the beginning of the end. Everything did not come crashing down right away. Rather it was a slow slide into mediocrity.

This is a more common occurrence than the casual observer might be aware.  Bullying often comes with an agenda. A senior player who feels his role on the team is not secure might choose to bully whomever he views as a threat to what he feels entitled to.  The prospect of being relegated to the bench or being cut from the team based on merit is unconscionable to them so a campaign is waged against the perceived threat.  The often underclassman object of the bullying decides not to play or play poorly enough during tryouts to be relegated to the JV team.

Of course, what we are describing is very selfish behavior by bullies. Isn't this often the case, though? Bullies as described above are not team oriented. No, they are "me" oriented.

As mentioned earlier, bullying is not always so dramatic. Freshmen having to pick up equipment, wash pinnies, carry a senior's bags - each of these examples could be considered bullying. And it is fact that being forced to perform has caused people to quit a team.  There is also a servant attitude that can be developed through the performance of such tasks. A player can be humbled and taught to appreciate doing for others. Coaches often preach to the players the need for them to play for one another. There is also an element of earning your way through performing "menial" tasks. And it would be remiss not to mention the mental toughness that can be developed through bullying of this type.  As coaches we must be vigilant that the performance of tasks like preparing water coolers for and getting them to practice does not escalate into something worse.

It's important to remember the transformation Adam Sandler's character undergoes in the movie Water Boy. Bobby Boucher went from a bullied water boy to the star of the team.  Paying one's dues is okay as long as in the balance is the maturation of the player into a competent contributor, starter and even a star for the team. Bullying that makes life so miserable for a player that it brings physical, mental or emotional harm to the athlete and forces him from the team and or sport cannot be allowed nor tolerated.

Bigotry and Racism in Soccer

There seems to be a constant stream of news items from the world of soccer concerning prejudices directed at players, coaches, referees and fans of the game.  I have seen players under my guidance discriminated against and unfortunately on one occasion had a player act discriminatory against a referee crew.  Sadly, we have not yet learned our lessons from slavery, the Nazi's or religious inquisitions. In good faith I cannot begin to list all the groups who are labeled and discriminated against.  It is a sad commentary on both our society and the global state of affairs. Unfortunately I am fairly confident each and every one of us has been a victim of bigotry and prejudice.

I am going to share two personal instances with you. One in a broad sense and the other quite intimate. With this being Holy week I find the timing to be appropriate.

Being of Native American heritage I can claim some expertise on what it is to be a target of prejudice. No group of people have been discriminated against like The People have been since the white man set foot in the Americas.  Not the African-American slaves, the Chinese and Irish who built the railroads ... no one. I myself have not had direct experience with this as I am not a full blooded Native American.  The sub group I would be in was often discriminated against by both the white man and Native Americans. 

On a much more personal level I experienced hatred and isolation on a scale I find embarrassing considering that we supposedly live in an enlightened and tolerant society.  Try being a Lutheran coaching at a Catholic High School.  The hate filled vitriol I was subjected to both in private and in public shames the supposedly Christian environment of a Catholic school setting.  I have never felt so alone, so isolated, so excluded as I did in the midst of the players, families and administration of that school.

Here's the truly strange aspect of my experience as a Lutheran coaching in a Catholic school - one of the primary reasons I accepted the position was because I had been contemplating converting to Catholicism.  I prayed on a regular basis for guidance in making a decision on this.  I asked God to provide me His answer and I believe He did.  Never once did anyone - player, assistant coach, administrator, parents, priest  - anyone speak with me about their beliefs.  I had to seek out and ask about rituals, traditions, creeds and prayers unfamiliar to me and the responses, when they did come, came excruciatingly slow if they came at all.  It was as if their minds were made up about me before they ever got to know me. Truth be told, with very few exceptions, no one there did ever get to know the real me.  I was labeled.  The label was negative. No one cared if it was accurate or not. 

The prejudice and hatred I endured at the hands of the Catholics I interacted with through my role as a soccer coach is God's answer to my prayers about possibly converting to Catholicism.  Now, in no way shape or form do I lump all Catholics in with those who treated me so hurtfully and disrespectfully.  I have many friends who are Catholic and I know them to be outstanding people - friends and neighbors, loved ones.  I believe, I have to believe, my experiences as a Lutheran coach at a Catholic high school were isolated incidents.

As a coach, I preach to our team members about being inclusive. Every member of our team is an equal. We cherish and value each members contributions to the team. No one individual more important than the next.  When we step on the pitch, race, creed, sexual preference, and all other exclusionary labels are left behind in favor of an inclusive label of player or team member. 

In recent days I read of a middle school basketball game that was stopped as team members went into the stands to confront a bully who was picking on a cheerleader with Downs Syndrome.  What heroes these young men are!  In another incident AC Milan midfielder Kevin-Prince Boateng recently left the field in protest after being the victim of what his club described as racist abuse. In a show of unity and support his teammates and officials followed Boateng off the pitch!   And I wondered where my hero was during my time as a Lutheran soccer coach at a Catholic high school?  Bigotry and prejudice will not be stopped until the bullies perpetrating it are stood up to.  And bigots can be found in every race, creed and label known to man.

You must make a stand against prejudice and bigotry. 

Until we each do our part the exclusiveness of bigotry and prejudice will remain.