People over Players

A coach’s primary function 

should be not to make better players,

 but to make better people. 

– John Wooden

This is one of the quotes I keep close to heart at all times.  As coaches of youth teams we are entrusted with young men and women in their formative years. We are part of the community it takes to raise a child. In nearly 40 years of coaching I believe the majority of time spent with young people has been spent reinforcing solid values set in place in their homes.  I've been blessed in that regard.

There have been times when I have taken a more active role in the development of a young person. This usually, but not always, occurs in cooperation with the young person's parent(s).  Sometimes a child lacks a good home situation. Sometimes they have not even had a home situation. Thankfully those scenarios have been rare, but alas have been occurring with greater frequency in recent years. But for the most part I work as an enforcer for parents seeking help in teaching life lessons to their children.  Sometimes That parent has even been myself.  

For example, the most common thing I have done is have a player report to the game in uniform and then inform him or her they will be watching that days match from the sidelines. The reason? Either poor grades or discipline issues.  It's an attention getter.  I did this with my own child when he began to think video games and soccer were more important than school and homework.  I believe he was a 5th grader at the time. In that instance I did not tell his teammates why he wasn't playing that day. His teammates kept asking him why he wasn't playing. He eventually had to tell them himself.  Not only did this correct his behavior but it sent a powerful message to his teammates about the prioritizing.

I share that brief story to help illustrate my decision-making philosophy. I prioritize PROGRAM first followed by TEAM second and the INDIVIDUAL third. I have had a parent or two question me about this when I have forced a player to miss games for grade issues. This has usually occurred in the case of a club player and has often not been the parent of the player himself, but a teammates parent. The conversation goes something like this, "How can sitting 'Jonathon' be the best thing for the team? We need Jonathon if we are going to win the game."   My response is invariably that we need Jonathon to win life before we can worry about Jonathon helping us to win a game. We do not want to be a program known for "winning at all costs" especially if that cost is sacrificing what is good for an individual to promote the program.  

"But what about the team?  It's not fair to the other players!"  

EXACTLY!  Why should Jonathon be granted special privileges?  Just because he is a good soccer or basketball player?  Does athletic talent earn him a free pass in other areas of life?  

We know in some cultures athletic talent will gain you a free pass in many areas of life. It's not right, but it happens. All glory is found in the win ... until that player can no longer contribute to winning. Attrition of one kind or another takes place. What then?  That player is discarded in favor of a newer version. IF that former player is lucky and was a truly exceptional athlete (s)he might be remembered 20 years later for accomplishments on the court or field,. But for most, in less than a generations time they are all but forgotten. They become real life Al Bundy's spending their adult life reliving their past glory as a youth athlete.

When a player I work with is being recruited the single most important piece of advice I provide is for them to make a 40-year decision.  As a coach, I do my best to do the same.  It's easy to choose a school based on what you get from the recruiting process and promises of wins.  That is also fools gold. Short term gain. Live in this moment decision making. I counsel to select a school based on what an education from that school can do for you 40 years into the future. 

Deciding to not play a young person in a club or high school game is much the same thing. In the grand scheme of things that game sat out will soon be forgotten by almost everyone involved. With the exception of the individual who had to sit out, hopefully.  When I take this approach I literally pray that sitting out an in-the-moment significant but in the long-term inconsequential youth sporting contest will be a positive life altering event for that individual with a lasting impact of 40+ years. 

My goal as a coach is to help the young people entrusted to me in developing life skills and character that will serve then well for a lifetime.  The techniques, tactics, physical condition of the sport ... all that is a means to an end and that end is not necessarily winning games.  In fact, if truth be known, wins are a by-product of life skills, character and the type of decision making that when present  bring out he best in individuals, teams and life.