By Invitation Only?

Today I wish to share one small secret about youth soccer with you. It is a proven truth with me and I believe it can be for you as well. Let me know what you think.

When I worked with local soccer associations there were always an abundance of players at the U6 and U8 ages.  Enough so that in-house leagues could be held at those ages.  By U10 and U12 the number of participants were in decline and a league with surrounding communities was needed for matches. By U14 the local associations were down to one team in each gender.  Why do so many players leave the youth game?

There are actually a lot of reasons why kids leave the game. Today, I want to discuss one reason only. They do not feel like they belong. They do not feel appreciated, valued, wanted.  While I believe this holds true for both genders it might be particularly true of boys. Allow me to illustrate with a story.

For as long as I can remember our club struggled to field quality teams in the U16 through U19  age groups. Some years it was an issue just to secure enough players to field a team let alone a quality side. The club ran the usual publicized tryouts and as a coach I would scout and recruit for the team with only marginal success. Finally in utter exasperation at attempting to field a U15 team I turned to the core group of players and announced "If we are going to have a team, you will need to find players. And the competitive level we will play at will be determined by the players you bring to the team."  

BINGO!

With the kids recruiting the players we fielded a full team and a decent side. With each succeeding year we had a larger player pool and played at a higher level of play.  The difference was found in the players asking others to join them.  Kids who were not inclined to just show up for open tryouts came when they were invited by their peers. Word spread through the player grapevine to the point where we had nearly 50 U19 players last spring. That is simply an unheard of number for rural west-central Ohio.  There was competition for roster spots and some ended up self selecting when they realized they would not make the "A" team. We ended up with 38 players overall divided amongst two teams.

When a coach with a rival area club asked how we were getting so many players while they struggled to field a lone age appropriate team my answer was simple - our players reached out to others and asked them to join up. I did absolutely nothing aside from close the deal with a few parents in terms of explaining philosophy, expectations and costs.

And I think it significant enough to point out the players themselves were selective. They did not invite just anyone. If they felt a player would not be a good fit for the program, they did not talk with them about playing together. In fact, more than once they selected what many would consider personality or character over talent.

The result was a tight knit group that strung together a 47-8-5 (?) record with league titles, showcase and tournament championships. All the credit goes to the players making others feel welcomed.

Thinking back to those middle school years I remember how everything around me was constantly changing.  From our bodies hitting puberty to who we hung around with. Everyone was seeking places to fit in and even more importantly no one wanted to feel rejected.  Remember being afraid to ask a girl to go out with you?  Or how about those school dances where everyone hung out along a wall because they were afraid they would make a fool of themselves if they danced? I remember our eldest son being a bit reserved until a girl from our church invited him to join a group that hung out together.  That invitation was all it took for him to begin spreading his wings. It gave him confidence in himself knowing he was accepted and wanted as part of that group. It didn't hurt any that the girl was a couple of years older and pretty as well!

I believe our core group of players addressed the insecurities many teen aged boys have when they approached others and asked them to join us. This eliminated the fear of rejection that can be associated with "trying out" and is in general so prevalent in young people.

So what do you think?

Instead of open tryouts would tryouts by invitation only bring out better numbers?  

I know it did for us, but are we an isolated example?